Your Grace is Sufficient for me.

Comfort Food

2010-02-04T23:27:00.000+08:00

There are times when I really just feel down and I would love a pick-me-up using comfort food. Today is one of those days.

In a time when jobs seem so hard to find, I had them coming out of my ears, at least, for a day. The deadlines were creeping up on me so imposingly, that I had no escape from their encroachment. Except for food.

Thankfully, we had a good stock of FIC or Fruits in Ice Cream in our ref, butterscotch flavor. I also got me a dose of good ol' Pepsi Max, your "Accomplice in a Bottle," and Sting. My drugs of choice, lately. Other than that, I also got me 3 pieces of choc-nut. All these things served to comfort my weary body and tortured soul.

I learned another lesson in saying "NO" today. While good things may happen to good people a lot, sometimes, too much of a good thing gets to be a bad thing. My rallying cry for February 2010 has been all about BALANCE.

According to Ecclesiastes 7:16-18, God's Word Translation:

"Don't be too virtuous, and don't be too wise. Why make yourself miserable? Don't be too wicked, and don't be a fool. Why should you die before your time is up? It's good to hold on to the one and not let go of the other, because the one who fears God will be able to avoid both extremes."

Thanks to this verse, I learned how I should live my life: I learned, that to live life to the full, I better not swing to either extreme. So I learned that I should give myself a break, too.

I asked my clients for favor about extending deadlines. I got thankful for technical difficulties that would afford me a break. And I'm thankful that one friendclient found a solution to her needs. All's well that ends well.

But nothing beats an oasis in the midst of a storm. One of those is comfort food. Not just ice cream, not just "drugs" like Pepsi Max and Sting, not just my usual food preferences that really help me understand COMFORT... I'd like to try new stuff. Like milk lollipops. I once had a milk lollipop on a day that I was also particularly stressed and I realized... They're nice. But I'd definitely love to have one of these, sometime:

According to its makers, Milkita is a healthy lollipop. It has calcium in it but is it is low fat and has less sugar. Hmm. Seems like a good solution to my blues. Something healthy to stem the rainclouds forming over me.

But while I'd prefer sensory comfort, sometimes, there's only One Thing.. Or, I mean, One Guy, who could could comfort me, beyond all tiredness that reaches my bones. :) He's so extravagantly loving, that even milk lollipops won't be able to approach the level of comfort His love can bring me. ;)

http://www.milkita-id.com

Iloilo City: Home is where the heart is | Death: Number your days to D-Day

2009-03-10T20:22:00.001+08:00

After a long while of being away from Iloilo City, having made the decision to leave, back in 2007, just exactly when I made the note to self that I actually like it here now, I'm home again.

After a week and counting of being here, what have I learned?

My parents are nicer. Yay! \o/

The skyway isn't so bad as I had thought it would be. It actually looks nice. Too bad I won't be using it anyway (this girl is resisting learning how to ride a car). :p

I like my city!!! I like my city!!! I loik my city!!!

I think I got a better deal in pants here than I had ever seen in Manila. Hahahahahahaa! Oh joy. Roll.

I'm missing my friends in Manila, though I am learning to take my own advice to a woman I love dearly: Live in the moment. Love the people immediately around you.

There is no use pining for my friends in Manila when I have quite a number of friends here who are waiting for me to infect them with my bubbleheaded laughter, my irreverent view of my foibles in my walk with Jesus and my unique understanding of who He is. Most of us think that He is a guy with a ruler waiting to measure us or spank us or what. I NOW think that He is a loving Father who is only courting our hearts because without Him, we are DEAD.

YES. God is a FUN God, despite the way He needs to get when He disciplines us.

And oh, be happy when God calls your name when you are running away. It is an undoubtedly concrete evidence of how He still loves you when you are being disciplined.

Do I pine for my Ate's in Victory Pioneer?

I guess there is a way of things working out for the good of those who love God... The last 3 months I had in Manila were spent mainly with those immediately close to me in my small group. Thus, my ties to the people around me were already being eased out... So I had not seen Ate Sam's dimpled face, Ate Catz's radiant glow, Ate Jem's motherly countenance, nor Ate Grace's (Gracia P.) quiet strength, and more so Ate Rayche's quiet wisdom, in these past few months. No time, no room to pine for and miss people. No need to, and more so no right to.

I used to be a creature of comfort. I liked the soft fuzzy warm things in life. I liked the idea of "safe." And in my current reading of One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook, I re-realized that I have one big fear currently: living a life too safe, that I'd miss out on obeying God.

I realized then, in my reading, that life was meant to be lived on the edge. I realized that life was meant to be lived taking risks and living, loving, learning to the hilt of who you are and what you can give.

So yes, as my new SG Leader Ann and I had agreed, we shall be soaking first in understanding what One Month to Live has to offer. We want to reach other young women effectively. I personally have a vision that our group, not to be clique-ish or anything, shall be the most bubbly, the most fun, the most joyous, the most grace-ious, the most LOVING, around. Not because I want our group to be known for fame's sake. Because I just want to be part of the biggest ripple around here to infect others. I want to be the most infectiously light-shining, life-giving, joy-diffusing (thank you, Tristan!) of the Victory Iloilo creatures around. Not for anything, but I just want to be like that, for God's glory.

Enough of CHURCH being equated to RELIGION. I's tired of THAT! Let's make CHURCH, VICTORY ILOILO, the best place to be in, every Sunday! Let's make Christianity the most enviable thing on earth to be a part of!

Enough of the concern on who is the greatest in the kingdom. Ministry?! What's THAT?! Seriously. If there's any one thing I take away from the greatest writer/prophet to impact my heart, Pastor Rick Joyner, it would be this: God's heart is touched only to the level of how faithful you were (in terms of being responsible of, allowing to grow) to what He has given you.

Another is the understandting that the greater the obstacle you had to jump through, and the more cavalier the attitude you took with which to survive it, the higher your reward, in the Lord's kingdom.

Those two snippets were my understanding of what Pastor Rick Joyner had written in his book The Vision (Final Quest part, I believe, the story of Angelo the beggar).

That is how I want to live my life: faithful to every little thing that is in my hands, one thing at a time.

So yes, I make a commitment to throwing all caution to the wind. I shall:

Live fully: Passionately and without a care what other people may think and how they can harm me. To my possible enemies: I shall follow the strict quid pro quo rule: I won't hurt you with full deliberate evil machinations, and I expect God to keep me safe from your intentions as well. :p If you cross the line and burn even a single one of my split ends without due reason, Psalm 105:15 ("Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.") shall be your yardstick. :p
Love with abandon: No matter how many times I get hurt by you, I shall love you, and you and you. :p
Learn in full humility: Not to draw attention to myself, but I just want to share share share what God has done for me and what He could do for you, too.

I am going to be here for only 22,818 days more. So I have to make the most out of those 22,818 days, give or take a few days.

So I, Lorie Therese Locara, shall give it all I've got!!!

According to the Death Clock, I'm supposed to die on Monday, September 14, 2071. A full 87 years, 4 months, and a day!!! I subtracted my current age from that value (24 years, 9 months, and 28 days), in order to get my remaining days on this earth. The equation is 31,876 (days of my full life) - 9058 (days I had already spent). Phew.

I think the Death Clock states that I'll live well into my 80s because I'm the optimistic type. Heheh.

Enough of the mathematical nitty-gritties. Either way, these are the days I have left into my life, and I make a commitment to LIVE THESE DAYS FULLY.

Truth be told, I had said "goodbye" to my teens before I left Manila. I tried to get my two best Graviton buds to understand the significance of my leaving, but I was unsuccessful. I knew that I would be living my days faster. No longer would I stick to safe and comfortable in the coming days. My game plan for the 2-3 years that I will be here in Iloilo would be to:

Love as many new people as I can.
Meet as many new friends as I can.
Help out whomever needs my help, in their ministry, just for the heck of it. (I'm looking at Ate Jenny Galopo, and my buddies in Victory.)
Reach as many people who are jaded about the Jesus they were taught, as possible.
Have as many people through Victory Weekend and see as many women flying in their relationship with God, as possible.
Have as many cups of coffee on the perch God showed me I could use as the substitute for my Cityland rooftop sunrise-gazing post, here at home.
Have as many cups of coffee I can brew.
Squeeze the most out of my Me-and-God/Theo Afternoons, as I still could.
Understand how I could make a go of all these in my 24-hour days, as possible, even as I juggle work and these targets. And sleep too. Heheh.

I don't know if I could regain the level of intensity that my high school friends and I had before, but I know that my days would get faster. My sked would be so squeezed and bled for the maximum, that I know that my metaphor for my life (Rocket), would become true...

These are exciting days. These are amazing days. This is no time to remain sleeping. This is no time to live on the SOMEDAY. The day to live is NOW!!!

Awaaaaaaake!!! You only have ONE LIFE TO LIVE!!!

And oh, somewhere in between all that, I might as well clean my room. Like right now. Heheh. :p

Iloilo City: Home is where the heart is | Death: Number your days to D-Day

2009-03-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

After a long while of being away from Iloilo City, having made the decision to leave, back in 2007, just exactly when I made the note to self that I actually like it here now, I'm home again.

After a week and counting of being here, what have I learned?

My parents are nicer. Yay! \o/

The skyway isn't so bad as I had thought it would be. It actually looks nice. Too bad I won't be using it anyway (this girl is resisting learning how to ride a car). :p

I like my city!!! I like my city!!! I loik my city!!!

I think I got a better deal in pants here than I had ever seen in Manila. Hahahahahahaa! Oh joy. Roll.

I'm missing my friends in Manila, though I am learning to take my own advice to a woman I love dearly: Live in the moment. Love the people immediately around you.

There is no use pining for my friends in Manila when I have quite a number of friends here who are waiting for me to infect them with my bubbleheaded laughter, my irreverent view of my foibles in my walk with Jesus and my unique understanding of who He is. Most of us think that He is a guy with a ruler waiting to measure us or spank us or what. I NOW think that He is a loving Father who is only courting our hearts because without Him, we are DEAD.

YES. God is a FUN God, despite the way He needs to get when He disciplines us.

And oh, be happy when God calls your name when you are running away. It is an undoubtedly concrete evidence of how He still loves you when you are being disciplined.

Do I pine for my Ate's in Victory Pioneer?

I guess there is a way of things working out for the good of those who love God... The last 3 months I had in Manila were spent mainly with those immediately close to me in my small group. Thus, my ties to the people around me were already being eased out... So I had not seen Ate Sam's dimpled face, Ate Catz's radiant glow, Ate Jem's motherly countenance, nor Ate Grace's (Gracia P.) quiet strength, and more so Ate Rayche's quiet wisdom, in these past few months. No time, no room to pine for and miss people. No need to, and more so no right to.

I used to be a creature of comfort. I liked the soft fuzzy warm things in life. I liked the idea of "safe." And in my current reading of One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook, I re-realized that I have one big fear currently: living a life too safe, that I'd miss out on obeying God.

I realized then, in my reading, that life was meant to be lived on the edge. I realized that life was meant to be lived taking risks and living, loving, learning to the hilt of who you are and what you can give.

So yes, as my new SG Leader Ann and I had agreed, we shall be soaking first in understanding what One Month to Live has to offer. We want to reach other young women effectively. I personally have a vision that our group, not to be clique-ish or anything, shall be the most bubbly, the most fun, the most joyous, the most grace-ious, the most LOVING, around. Not because I want our group to be known for fame's sake. Because I just want to be part of the biggest ripple around here to infect others. I want to be the most infectiously light-shining, life-giving, joy-diffusing (thank you, Tristan!) of the creatures around.

Enough of CHURCH being equated to RELIGION. I's tired of THAT! Let's make CHURCH, VICTORY ILOILO, the best place to be in, every Sunday! Let's make Christianity the most enviable thing on earth to be a part of!

Enough of the concern on who is the greatest in the kingdom. Ministry?! What's THAT?! Seriously. If there's any one thing I take away from the greatest writer/prophet to impact my heart, Pastor Rick Joyner, it would be this: God's heart is touched only to the level of how faithful you were (in terms of being responsible of, allowing to grow) to what He has given you.

Another is the understandting that the greater the obstacle you had to jump through, and the more cavalier the attitude you took with which to survive it, the higher your reward, in the Lord's kingdom.

Those two snippets were my understanding of what Pastor Rick Joyner had written in his book The Vision (Final Quest part, I believe, the story of Angelo the beggar).

That is how I want to live my life: faithful to every little thing that is in my hands, one thing at a time.

So yes, I make a commitment to throwing all caution to the wind. I shall:

Live fully: Passionately and without a care what other people may think and how they can harm me. To my possible enemies: I shall follow the strict quid pro quo rule: I won't hurt you with full deliberate evil machinations, and I expect God to keep me safe from your intentions as well. :p If you cross the line and burn even a single one of my split ends without due reason, Psalm 105:15 ("Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.") shall be your yardstick. :p
Love with abandon: No matter how many times I get hurt by you, I shall love you, and you and you. :p
Learn in full humility: Not to draw attention to myself, but I just want to share share share what God has done for me and what He could do for you, too.

Love as many new people as I can.
Meet as many new friends as I can.
Help out whomever needs my help, in their ministry, just for the heck of it. (I'm looking at Ate Jenny Galopo, and my buddies in Victory.)
Reach as many people who are jaded about the Jesus they were taught, as possible.
Have as many people through Victory Weekend and see as many women flying in their relationship with God, as possible.
Have as many cups of coffee on the perch God showed me I could use as the substitute for my Cityland rooftop sunrise-gazing post, here at home.
Have as many cups of coffee I can brew.
Squeeze the most out of my Me-and-God/Theo Afternoons, as I still could.
Understand how I could make a go of all these in my 24-hour days, as possible, even as I juggle work and these targets. And sleep too. Heheh.

Scandalous Life: Of Todd Bentley, Deaths and Remarriage

2009-03-10T19:56:00.000+08:00

I've been noticing something lately. There is an abnormally high number of young deaths. As well as a good amount of remarriages after divorce. Do you think God is saying something here?

Perhaps, He is saying, that He is taking us out of our unholy marriage to "Egypt": love of money, things, things of the world, marriage to compromise: a mixture of the holy and unholy motives in our hearts and giving the Bride of Christ, the Church, a new marriage: one that will have the Bride faithful through to the end?

Or maybe He is saying, "Even though I have divorced you, I shall marry you again, this time, with a fresh covenant, a brand new start."

Waa. I'm seriously just supposing. I'm just wondering about the world events of late. Heheh.

Super Disclaimer: This is, in no way, an exercise of my prophetic giftings. All Blabber before Rick Joyner's article is just that: Lorie's personal blabber, supposition, and wonderings. You have been firmly forewarned.

Below is a serious article with the deep and sincere apologies of the prophet in charge of the prophet in the process of restoration... And his new wife. Heheh.

And yeah. I repent. For criticizing you. I'm no better than you, actually. If I'm the woman with the alabaster jar crying my heart out at the feet of Jesus, fully forgiven, fully healed, I should only extend the same level of grace and mercy that I was given.

I still don't know if you are a true sister in Christ. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You have never harmed me, you don't even know I exist, but I have to say that I hated you with a passion I could slice through with a knife.

Maybe, just like Jessa, you went for him too soon. Maybe. I'll never know this side of Heaven. Only Jesus is your righteous judge. This forgiven harlot (meh) does not have any right to toss any size of stone or pebble on your way.

I'm sorry I had rained missiles on you with my words (that you never heard) and my thoughts. Someday, when we meet in Heaven, I'll know the full truth. Today, I am only thankful that I sit here corrected, and reminded of the long list of scarlet sins that I was forgiven.

Maybe someday I can observe you from afar and understand why he and God love you. Maybe someday we would even talk. As for today, I shall be happy ceasing all thoughts and barbs that issue from my mouth.

Til that day we meet in Heaven or even here on earth, I pray you live the rest of your life in peace, effectively having numbered your days: living passionately, loving completely, learning humbly, and finally, that you may leave this earth boldly.

Today, I make peace with myself, making the specific decision to zip my lips regarding you. I'm spitting out that tasty morsel of gossip; asking that God would make it as bitter venom to my tongue.

Whatever you did, wrong or whatever in our sight that was, I know one thing: Jesus has Tamar, Rahab, Ruth and Bathsheba in His bloodline. Such a scandalous bloodline, for a pure and Holy God! I'm in good company. So are you. :)

Either way, I'm just glad you don't know I exist.

Now, zip the drama, Lorie, and allow people to learn about what happened to Todd Bentley. :p

***

Todd Bentley Begins Restoration Process

By Rick Joyner

Todd Bentley was used to spark the Lakeland Outpouring, which raised the faith level of much of the body of Christ. Testimonies of healings and miracles from it are now virtually all over the world. When Todd’s marriage failed, he abruptly stopped all ministry and virtually disappeared for almost nine months. In the meantime, his divorce was finalized and he has recently remarried.

Todd has taken full responsibility for the failure of his marriage. He and Jessa also admit that their relationship was premature and should not have happened the way it did. Both are adamant that it was not the cause for the failure of his first marriage, nor did they begin their relationship until Todd was convinced that his marriage was over. They have both expressed that it was wrong and premature. They do not want to try and cover this up even though they know many will never accept them for it. Even so, they are married now and are resolved to make the most of their marriage, their lives, and to continue to serve the Lord in the best way that they can.

My position all along has been that I will do my best to comply with Galatians 6:1, “If a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (NKJV). To obey this Word, I have always felt that it did not matter what one had done, and that it was my responsibility to help them find the grace of God to return to the place from which they had fallen. I confess that with Todd, I am not just doing this as a duty. From the time I first met him nearly ten years ago, I knew that he had an extraordinary purpose and a gift of faith for the miraculous that would be desperately needed in these times. I consider helping any of God’s children an honor, and helping Todd is a privilege.

I also confess to some selfish ambition in wanting to do this. I had a dream two decades ago in which one of my children had fallen into a sewage ditch and could not get up. My child was being scorned and no one would help him. A man came along who helped my child get up and then cleaned up. In that dream, I felt as if I would give everything that I owned to this man who helped my child. Then I heard the voice of the Lord say, “Jim Bakker is My child. Will you help him?” Since that time, I have been devoted to helping any of God’s children that I could who have committed any trespass, because I knew there were few other things that would bring the Father’s favor. I consider this willingness to at least try to help others this way a major reason for the extraordinary favor that our ministry, my family, and I have received. I love Todd and am glad to help him, but I also know by doing this, I will be doing something that means a great deal to our Father.

When we release someone to minister in the body of Christ, we are releasing him or her to minister to God’s own children, and I personally do not do that with anyone who I would not allow to minister to my own family. For all that was done through Todd, and especially at Lakeland, which touched and helped countless thousands, many were also left confused and hurt by the way it ended. I think Todd is even more sensitive to this than I am. Although in some ways he greatly misses being in ministry and praying for people, he wants to be sure that when he comes back that his life and his ministry are on the most solid ground possible so that he does not cause these kinds of problems again.

Jack Deere and Bill Johnson have agreed to be a part of Todd’s restoration process. I asked them to be a part because I know they will probably see things I don’t, but also because both Todd and I trust them and know they would not sign off on something they did not really believe in. However, both of them are going to be involved in this at a distance, and therefore, I will be the main person responsible.

Being a believer in body ministry, I expect our whole leadership team, and to some degree, our whole local church, to be involved in helping Todd and Jessa. Our staff and all from the church that I have discussed this with are very happy about them being here and want to help them in any way that they can.

In future Bulletins, we will go into more detail about what we’re doing and why, as well as what we think was a cause of some of the failures Todd experienced. We will only do this for the sake of helping others avoid the same traps. We know that trust has to be earned and that Todd will have to earn the trust of the body of Christ for future ministry, which will not be easy, nor should it be. Todd, more than most, does not want to jump back into ministry prematurely, even as much as he misses it in some ways.

I for one have been very encouraged by the expressions of grace and genuine concern so many have expressed toward Todd in this situation. It gives me great hope. As we have been constantly reminded, the Lord had great patience with sinners, but He had none for the self-righteous. We’re all here because He had mercy on us, and we know we still need it. However, we also know that true repentance and restoration can only come if we refuse to compromise the clear biblical standards for morality and integrity.

Todd wanted to personally say the following:

It has been a long while since I have spoken publicly and openly. I am sorry for the hurt and confusion that my decisions have caused the body of Christ. It has been a true season of brokenness, hiddenness, and a long process of grieving.
As many of you now know, my previous marriage has endured years of unresolved conflicts. I apologize that it has ended in divorce, and I take full responsibility for my part for the ending of the marriage. I realize that my silence and decisions have caused many of you to feel hurt, confused, and offended. The reason for the silence was for my need of healing, creating a restoration process under a team of qualified leaders, much needed rest after the Lakeland Outpouring, repentance, and the divorce process.

I have now relocated to Fort Mill, South Carolina and have entered into my restoration and healing process under Rick Joyner, Jack Deere, and Bill Johnson. I am confident of this one thing—that God is faithful to His promise and my hope is to be fully restored, strengthened, healed, and to learn from all the mistakes I have made along the way.
Thank you friends and partners for your continued prayers, encouragement, and love. I am committed to the work of the Holy Spirit and confident that the good men around me will help me be restored first as a man, as a husband, and ultimately to fulfill God's call on my life.

Those of you who were touched by the Lakeland Outpouring do not lose your encouragement. What happened there was from God, and Todd is a true servant of God. He has made some mistakes, and he is trying to get his life back in order, and you can be confident that he will. Throughout the Bible, many of the greatest heroes in it also made some of the worst mistakes. King David, possibly the greatest hero in the Bible after Jesus, made one of the most horrible mistakes, not only committing adultery, but murdering the husband of the woman he committed it with. God knew that was going to happen with David when He called him, and He loved David before, during, and afterward.

One of the remarkable events in the Bible is that the Lord then used Bathsheba to bring forth the heir to the throne, Solomon, and she is part of the genealogy of Jesus. It still stretches me, but we need stretching in the grace of God. At the same time, we must balance it with how God hates divorce, and it is one of the scourges of our times that is tragically hurting many, many people. Marriage is under such an assault now because it is so important. However, legalism will not overcome lawlessness. This situation and similar ones that almost every church and family are now being faced with is one that we need answers for. We cannot run from Him, but must run to Him with our need.

How Long?

2009-02-24T13:25:00.000+08:00

Man. Dogs talking. Imagine. When will be the day when we talk to animulz again? Heheh!

If you're not content with that vid, here's another one.

In the stillness of my night...

2009-02-18T22:37:00.001+08:00

Self-absorption alert.

These past two weeks were one big whirlwind. I got a new job, as a girl friday for an outsourcing company. I ate nothing but stress and fast meals from a bowl, whatever I could find in the kitchen to heap on inside it, that's what I'll eat. All this craziness these past weeks. For two weeks in a row, I had worked on Sundays. For two weeks in a row, I worked for 8 to 12 hours straight. Finally, last Sunday, I decided to give my past clients to Krish, the lovely lady whose assistance in my ragtag team had been crucial.

For those of you who may not know, Kuya Elim, especially, since you asked about it, I've been an online worker since 2006. I started out writing essays for lazy American students; then when I realized that it really wasn't ethical (after I bought a new hard drive, a couple of cellphones, and other stuff besides ), I dropped the job and decided to try and focus on my studies.

When the reality set in: that I would need to find something to support the DSL bills, I then started to send out my resumes to job postings I found on http://www.bestjobs.ph. On a miraculous turn of events, my official online career began with working for a Philippine Internet Marketing expert, after an interview on yahoo messenger that lasted all of 2 hours.

My career progressed: from him alone, over the summer of 2007, the year I graduated, I had been able to find work with other people. From Mr. Local Internet Marketer, I had a Philippine blog overlord, an American blog CEO, and a bidding site/outsourcing diva for clients. Juggling them all in my hands, I almost never got anywhere. Sure I got paid good money. Sometimes I got more than I asked for, but there started a nagging feeling in my heart that this was all slavery.

It was, of course, a crazy lie that I had bought. I realize now when I talked to a Philippine Internet Marketing diva, who also is a churchmate of mine, that I had bought into the employee mentality that told me that I should try to break free of the system.

Robert Kiyosaki advised, in his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, that even when a person works the 9 to 5, he or she should plumb her savings into a passive income account...

With this, he went on to expound that an employee should work for himself. Even as an employee, he should be plumbing his money into investments, not to live on paycheck to paycheck. When you have a goal bigger than your bills, it's easier to drive yourself to get there, according to him.

But I had not bumped into Robert Kiyosaki until September of 2008, when I saw one of his books lying around here in this house that I stay in.. I read it, almost through to the end, and I realized that I should no longer feel like a slave. I should realize that I should work my butt off with my main client in order to build that nest egg for myself.

In September, I was a good girl. I was faithful to my main employer and tried to reach targets. But October became a test in character and time management skills, when temptation after temptation kicked in.

I was offered a lucrative and prestigious package when a local surveillance company wanted me to work for them as their outsourced writer.

BIG MISTAKE.

While I love the manager I worked with as a person, working with her was HELL. My close friend and partner in one of my yet-to-take-off ventures once said: the manager and I could have been great friends had we not have had to work with each other... And indeed, it was a turbulent relationship. I was plugging in at least 8 hours a day just chatting and fighting with her, over that stupid project.

After that stretch of time, October to December, I have only this to show for it: for a sliver of time, my house bills were "updated": no debts on my house bills. But only for that split second.

October to November was hell. I was juggling several clients at once, but I was getting nowhere. Money was pouring into everyone else's pockets but mine. Why? Coz I was so friggin needy and kept chatting with my biz partner and friend.

Yeah, that and the fact that admin work and fighting with the manager sapped me dry.

I have to finally admit to myself that I had one big F in the stretch from October to December. I was constantly shielding myself from my parents that I was working hard. Yeah, when everyone else finally went to sleep.

I was reaching some targets, but I was growing more and more exhausted by the minute. I was also a big F in one major thing: I was not faithful to my main employer, at all.

The season before that, I identified Multiply as a time-sapper. So I started to blog less and less. I had also realized that chatting was sucking up a lot of time. But working with a friend gave me an excuse to stay on yahoo messenger for so long.

BIG MISTAKE again.

But thanks to this job that I now have, whose shift starts in 3 hours, yikes, I can finally earn my keep in a stable way.

My working is monitored via software, so it gives me the extra discipline. I no longer chat during office hours, except for those moments when there are running tasks that are not attention-intensive. It's a better system, too, because I can get up to get food, text for a split second, and I don't need to stop my timer, because my workplace's system takes care of my attendance.

From September to December 2008, I was the boss of me. I bought into the lie that to be financially liquid, I should get more projects. I bought into the lie that prosperity comes with getting more work, with being your own boss.

Today, I realize that prosperity comes when you honor God and be faithful. Psalm 37. That includes not taking on too many sidelines, and taking care of your sanity.

I had a long career in 3 years.

From essay company to Internet Marketer, blogging kingpins, two outsourcing bidding marketplace divas, a community site developer, a social networking fledgling, a savvy Internet Marketing/blogging/marketing hybrid that got me my 15 milliseconds of fame, a travel networking magnate, a self-help non-guru who had studied under Anthony "Tony" Robbins, who was featured on Shallow Hal (the guy who hypnotized Hal), a local surveillance magnate and his hellish manager, and who knows if I have others I forgot, haha!

Oh yeah, my short stint with another outsourcing/SEO article company before I went for the essay writing company. And oh, that essay writing website, as well.

Who knows what else I've worked on? My foggy brain could only recall the lessons learned, the pain that the lessons came with, in order to brand my soul never to do the mistakes again, and the realization that God is a good Father: He allows all these things in our lives in order to prime us for the next level.

Without all these experiences, I would have been incapable of handling what I have now. It takes a lot of trust to put your business in the hands of a girl whom you talk with only on Skype or Yahoo Messenger. It takes a lot of trust to open your records and everything else to another person.

Some other people got screwed over by employees they work with in real life, where they could whap! these people on the head for realz. Thankfully, the treacherous side of the human heart only reared its head in me once, and it was the single, most painful moment I've had in my career. Thanks to that, I can now assure myself and my employer that I am trustworthy, and I won't screw him over. I prefer peace of mind, thank you.

But I have to admit that sometime since last week, looking at Php 15,000 a month, I had panicked, because my employer's daily mantra was "move to Windows," and there's no way that I could get a decent laptop on Php 5,000. I have to live on something too, you know? And I have to tithe too. Pay taxes. Pay debts. Things a person does to keep from being robbed by satan.

With that panic, I had already considered getting a credit card and getting a loan to start a business. Ants in the pants, really.

But then God reminded me to rest. So I did. After two weeks of working Sundays, there's no way that anyone would rob me of my Sabbaths again, unless I get stupid once more. Yes, when hell freezes over shall I work all through Sunday. I hope God facilitates that, as well.

I also got reminded that if I borrowed money to make money, I would be feeding on a lie that the world has put forth. And I hadn't even finished setting up www.nenyalorien.com just yet. I had not monetized it, nor even put up the things I needed to put up to make me some money that could be had, just keeping that site lying around. Why did I have to think about digging a deeper ditch by buying into the stupidity of investing, the world's way?

I have deep respect for my friends who could make money out of borrowed money. But I also have deep respect for God's telling Moses: "What's that in your hand?"

Yes, I shall work with what I have: an Internet connection, a brain, and a couple of domains lying around.

When I am faithful, I am sure God will reward me with more.

Lord, I'm sorry for allowing my heart to be stolen by love of money, yet again. Please keep on rescuing me from myself.

Somewhere in Proverbs, it says that easy "money gets lost quickly, but money that is gathered little by little turns ito great wealth" (paraphrased). And so it shall be. No loans, no credit cards for me. If you have an old laptop you want to sell me for installment starting March, or if you have a laptop you are willing to give away for a prayer and a blessing, I'm here. :)

And on the note of workaholism: I could also listen to Dave Ramsey, when he says that if you are in debt, you could take an extra job to get out of it quickly.

Naaaaaaaah. Not yet. Let my brain settle from the blenderized bits that are swimming in my skull. If I get an article order or two, yay. If not, whatever, I won't die.

But what I seriously want is to start writing my own books again.

No more do I want to see my own work, something I am passionate about, sold back to me:

http://www.20daypersuasion.com/WSOpsych.htm

No more, please. I'm tired of prostituting what is, to a writer, his or her babies. I am happy with writing stray articles for others. I am even happy writing a weight loss ebook. Coz I'm still fat anyway, and those ideas work well only if I applied them to myself. Haha. But for things like that book in the link above, stuff I am passionate about: inner healing, psychology, etc., it breaks my heart that I now have to buy that for myself, in order to resell that and slap my name on it.

Money, if only I didn't need you to buy my new Macbook Pro, which God has already promised me. If only I didn't need you to keep staying in this home that I've learned to love. If only I didn't need you to get from here to my church. If only I didn't need you to keep fed tomorrow... I won't be working this hard.

Yes, I shall agree with Robert Kiyosaki that I would be using the money I earn from working to set up a business. No, I shall not agree with his adherents, the guys who are behind a certain abundance movement in the Philippines, that it takes borrowed money to make money. No! No! No! I shall prosper, God's way, and in God's Time!

Lorie's Heart, you better listen to that!

Let's be wise with where we invest money, and how to go about it. I will not run myself down and shred myself in order to chase the elusive buck. I shall do this, God's way.

***

As a final word, to answer your question, Kuya Elim, I am:

A Writer.
A Virtual Assistant.
I do Search Engine Optimization (stabilized one website at #1, thanks to my efforts and my former employer's tactics).
I can create websites, but not from code, not yet anyway.
I can do almost everything on a computer except program and create formulas on Excel.

In short, I'm the Über Assistant. Heheh.

There's Hope For Me Yet. Heheh.

2009-01-29T17:27:00.000+08:00

Parents Kill Daughter While Teaching Her Manners

2009-01-28T08:16:00.000+08:00

Jurors weep at details of 'Baby Grace' torture

By JUAN A. LOZANO, Associated Press Writer Juan A. Lozano, Associated Press Writer – 14 mins ago

AP – This undated file photo released by Sheryl Ann Sawyers shows her granddaughter Riley Ann Sawyers, 2, …

GALVESTON, Texas – Jurors wept Tuesday watching a woman describe how teaching her 2-year-old daughter proper manners turned into a daylong torture session in which the toddler was beaten with belts, dunked in cold water and flung across a room so violently that she died.

Kimberly Trenor, 20, detailed the abuse in a videotaped statement played for jurors during the first day of her capital murder trial.

Trenor, 20, told investigators in the statement that she hit her daughter with a thick leather belt to teach her to say "please" and "yes, sir."

The little victim was dubbed "Baby Grace" by investigators who worked to identify her decomposed remains after the body was found in a plastic container in October 2007 on a tiny island in Galveston Bay.

Trenor's 25-year-old husband, Royce Zeigler II, is to be tried separately on murder charges. His attorney argues that Trenor is responsible for the child's death.

But Trenor insisted it was her husband who became so enraged when the toddler didn't behave better that he hurled her several times across a room, ultimately fracturing her skull and killing her.

"I said we have to get her to a hospital. (Zeigler) said, 'No we can't. We'll go to jail,'" Trenor said in the videotape, crying. "There came a point where she stopped breathing. He started doing CPR on the floor. He took her ... and handed her over to me. I could just feel her going cold."

At the defense table, Trenor's eyes teared up as she watched the videotape on a large screen. Several jurors wiped away tears.

Riley Ann Sawyers tried to stop her mother and stepfather from beating her to death by reaching out to her mother and saying, "I love you," assistant district attorney Kayla Allen told jurors earlier in the day during her opening statement.

The toddler's pleas didn't stop her mother from brutalizing her, the prosecutor said.

Allen said that on July 25, 2007, Trenor and Zeigler disciplined Riley by whipping her with a belt, pushing her head against a pillow and holding her head under water. She said Zeigler tossed Riley across the room, fracturing her skull. An autopsy concluded the fractures caused her death.

Allen said the adults did nothing to help even as Riley lay dying.

Instead, the couple bought a plastic container, stuffed Riley's body inside and stored it in a shed for a month or two before setting it out to sea, the prosecutor said.

Defense attorney Tommy Stickler Jr. told the jury that Trenor never intended to kill her daughter and that things just "spun out of control."

Stickler portrayed Trenor as a scared 19-year-old girl who had moved to Texas from Ohio to marry a man she met while playing an online game. She said Riley's father, her former boyfriend, had assaulted her and Zeigler was her "knight in shining armor."

"I don't want to use the word accident, but this wasn't something that was intentional," Stickler said.

Trenor could receive an automatic sentence of life in prison without parole if convicted of capital murder. The jury could also convict her of a lesser charge.

Prosecutors declined to seek the death penalty because they didn't think they could prove that either one would be a future danger, as required.

Geez. Maybe they needed parent training. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend will do the trick. :p

Fun Bible Equations

2009-01-28T07:24:00.000+08:00

"Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right."
-Romans 4:22, MSG

Cause and Effect:

Faith = Declaration of fitness

Trusting God to set him right = Righteousness

Parallels/Definitions:

Faith = Trusting God to set him right

Righteousness = Declaration of fitness = Right standing with God

Ergo (Just to round out the nerdiness):

Magtiwala at manampalataya lamang sa Diyos, at Siya na ang magpapahayag na ika'y mahal Niya. Siya na rin ang magkakaloob ng kabanalan at katapatan na mismong kailangan mo.

O, ha? Tagalog yan. Translated by yours truly. Pwede na ko sumali sa Ang Dating Doon! Sis Lorie (yuck), ikaw ba itoh?! Nyehehe!

Scripture and Definitions taken from Message (MSG) and Amplified (AMP) Bibles.

More on Unity of the Bretheren

2009-01-26T19:25:00.000+08:00

Discerning the Times, Part 15

by Rick Joyner

We have been addressing the power of unity and how the church must come into this unity to accomplish her purpose in these times. This year we are going to see great bridges of trust and fellowship being built between many churches, denominations, and individual Christians who have been greatly divided before. This will release unprecedented power.

One reason there has been so much division in the church is because we have tried to unify around too much. The nation of Israel was only required to be in unity on two basic matters—worship and warfare. They were to worship Jehovah together in the manner and place He had prescribed, and they were to always be ready to mobilize and defend any of the other tribes that were attacked.

If the church would live by this same wisdom, her power, authority, size, wealth, and impact would multiply quickly. When we discuss being in unity about worship, we need to steer clear of the nuances that the Lord has given us liberty in, such as the style of music. However, we do need to be in unity about Who we worship and how complying with the biblical standards and teachings on morality, integrity, and other basics that should be common to all Christians. The Moravians stated the following: “In the basics there must be unity. In the other matters there must be liberty, and in all things there must be charity.”

As far as warfare is concerned, as Christians we should always be ready to mobilize with other believers to defend any of our brothers or sisters, or other churches, who are attacked. Presently, this is quite rare, but the times that I have seen it happen have resulted in a bonding together of believers in a special, powerful, and lasting way.

I was shown years ago that the ministry gift of “helps” would be one of the most powerful ministries to bring about the unity of the church. I had always thought of this as being the service of those who cut the grass or washed the dishes at the church, but the Lord showed me that this ministry was much more than that; it was a foundation that all of the other ministries were built on. The Holy Spirit is called “the Helper,” and the true ministry of helps is very basic to the nature of the Holy Spirit. When one is drowning and calls out for help, the one who responds to save him has the ministry of helps. The ones who respond to help defend others who are under attack are those with the true ministry of helps.

Years ago, I had a dream in which one of my children was in a sewage ditch, covered in filth, and not only would no one help him, but he seemed to be despised by the whole world because of his condition. Then in my dream, a man came along, helped my child out of the ditch, cleaned him up, and restored him so that my child was free and able to walk again. There is no way that I can describe the appreciation I felt for this person who helped my child. I felt like giving him everything I had, and I would have done anything in the world I could for him. Then I heard the voice of the Lord in this dream say, “Jim Bakker is My child. Will you help him?”

At the time, Jim Bakker was possibly one of the most despised people on the planet, even by Christians. If you read some of the mail he was receiving from Christians while in prison, you would think that Christians especially despised him. God loved him, and God was hurting because of the way one of His kids was hurting. I did not know Jim, had never watched the PTL program except for a few minutes occasionally, and had only casually followed his trial and imprisonment. However, I immediately resolved to help Jim in any way that I could. I don’t think I did much to help him, and I must honestly say that I sincerely think I have benefited much more from our relationship than he has. Even more than that, God’s favor came upon me in a way that I had never experienced before.

It was for this same reason that when the situation with Todd Bentley happened and I was asked to help restore him, I did not hesitate. I was warned by some that helping Jim Bakker would cost me and my ministry very dearly, and it may have with some, but the favor of God is worth much more than the favor of all men. I know Todd has asked what I expect to get out of helping him, wondering why I would want to when it seems the whole church is mad at him, but the dream the Lord gave me over twenty years ago is still as real to me right now as when I first woke up after having it. I’m not here to build a ministry—I’m here to do God’s will, but I also know the church will never be trusted by God or men until we have His heart for restoration. When the world sinned, turned away from Him, and fell into terrible debauchery, the Lord did not condemn it—He came and gave His own life to save it. Those who have His heart will do the same for those in trouble.

True Christians are in basic unity about worship, and when we start to respond to help defend our brothers and sisters who are attacked, our unity will grow very fast. We also need to respond and mobilize to help those who fall into transgression because that is basic Christianity—doing what our Savior did for us.

Bat Shalom: Daughter of Zion - The Testimony of Batya Segal

2009-01-24T23:03:00.000+08:00

They Thought For Themselves, Chapter 9

Bat Shalom: Daughter of Zion
by Batya Segal

At the beginning of this century rumors began to circulate that a Jewish State was about to be reborn in the land of our forefathers. Excitement swelled in the Jewish community in Yemen as they felt the days of the Messiah were soon to come. Many Jewish people started to make their way back to Zion. Leaving everything behind except their most essential belongings, they set out on the long perilous journey across the desert, some carrying their children on their shoulders. They had little food or drink. Many suffered from exhaustion and many died—but they died full of hope and faith, knowing they were returning to the land of their forefathers.

In the late 1930s, my father left Yemen for Israel (then called Palestine), traveling by boat from Yemen to Egypt and from there by train. Most of the family had died either in Yemen or on the way to Israel. Upon arrival in Israel my father joined his one surviving brother. About this same time, my mother and her family settled in Jerusalem.

During the 1948 War of Independence, my father joined the Jewish forces fighting for the survival of the newly born Jewish State of Israel. He served in Ramat Rachel, a kibbutz just south of Jerusalem.

After the rebirth of Israel, the new government committed itself to bringing back the Jewish people from all over the world. In 1950, an airlift called Operation Magic Carpet brought home to Israel a large part of the Yemenite Jewish community within a short period of time. Most of them had never even seen an airplane before. The rabbi explained from Isaiah 40:31 that God would lead them “on wings like eagles,” which dispersed any fears they may have had of flying, for they knew prophetically they were being taken home to be prepared for the days of redemption.

He Hears Your Prayers
The Israeli Yemenite Jewish community in which I was raised was Orthodox. My parents kept a kosher home and were strict observers of Torah (the five books of Moses). They kept the Shabbat (Sabbath) and all the feasts of Israel.

As I grew up, I went to an Orthodox girls’ school in our neighborhood. Every morning we prayed as our forefathers had for two thousand years. At school we learned about the Messiah, who would come and redeem the Jewish people. He would reveal to the world that the God of Israel is the true God and would bring peace to all nations. He would sit on His throne in Jerusalem and rule the world with an iron rod. Though we learned this, the emphasis in our school was on the “Dinim,” the laws and commandments we had to follow as observant Jews. It was not a subject that excited us very much. I could not understand how it would bring me to a closer and deeper understanding of God, but I knew from studying the Jewish prophet, Isaiah, that God’s thoughts were higher than my thoughts, so I didn’t argue.

The atmosphere at home was warm, loving, and full of music. When we came together with family and friends on Shabbat, holidays, and special occasions, we sang and prayed according to the Yemenite traditions.

My father read his Bible every day when he returned from work. He instilled in me a love for and firm belief in God and His Word. He taught me, “Never forget that God exists. Whenever you need Him, for whatever reason, then He is always there to help you. Turn to God because He hears your prayers and He knows your needs.”

Every evening before I went to sleep my father and I quoted together a passage of Scripture I knew by heart:

Sh’ma Yisrael, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echad. Ve-Ahavta Et Adonai Eloheicha Be-chol Levavcha Uv’chol Nafshecha Uv’chol me-odech .... [“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might ...” (Deuteronomy 6:49, NKJV).]

I followed this with a personal talk with God. I used to bring before Him all the things of the day about which I was concerned, and I had the assurance that He heard my prayers and was meeting my needs. I knew God was my Father in heaven and I loved Him, but there were aspects of His character—His righteousness, holiness, and judgment—I did not understand, and so I feared Him as well.

As a child I loved art and got good grades in painting and drawing. I also was very interested in theatre and had the opportunity to act in some productions. I began to attend a children’s group at the main radio station of Israel where we read stories and sketches on the radio. I loved it. This opened a whole new world for me. The director said I had an excellent voice for radio and he could help me to make this my profession when I graduated.

My father would tell me, “Don’t spread yourself so thin. Concentrate on one thing and do it well.” I knew this was very good advice, but I loved all I did, and it was difficult for me to give up anything.

I had the support and love of both my parents; my father, in particular, always encouraged and complimented me. Of course, the youngest child generally gets the most attention, so at times I was spoiled.

Miracle War
As I was preparing to finish elementary school and begin the summer holidays in June 1967, Israel suddenly found herself embroiled in what became known as the Six Day War. Israelis remember it as the “Miracle War.” I was surprised to see that both of my brothers and my father were called to serve in the reserves. For seven days our family sat in the neighbor’s basement, anxiously waiting to hear the news. Our only contact with the outside world was the radio. Every hour, when we heard the beep, we ran to listen to the latest bulletins.

On the second day of the war, all the adults in the room began jumping with joy, hugging each other, and shouting. When I asked why, I was told that Jerusalem had been reunited, and our Israeli flag had been lifted on the Temple Mount. Even as a child I realized this was a miracle only God could have performed. After two thousand years of foreign domination, Israel had expanded her borders to the heartland of her ancient territory! I began to understand God’s prophetic word for the Jewish people.

I Need Freedom
When I was 12 years old and in a secondary school, I started to question my way of life. I began to break away from the teachings of my youth and go my own way. Since I greatly respected my parents and did not want to hurt them, I waited for the appropriate time and then explained my feelings to them. “I can’t live this way anymore,” I said. “I respect your lifestyle, but I need to explore a different one for me. I believe very strongly in God, but the mitzvot (laws) that I have been taught seem old-fashioned and not suitable for life today. I find I am unable to keep them with my whole heart, and I do not feel they bring me closer to God.” I asked for their permission to go to a public high school.

My father has always been an open-minded man, so he said: “It is all right. You can do that as long as you are happy. But do not forget Who your God is and where you come from.”

And so I transferred to public school. This proved to be a great challenge. I was confronted with a totally different culture. And much to my surprise, some teachers, including the head teacher, did not believe in the Bible as the Word of God. Instead, they viewed the Bible as a collection of mythical tales, not really inspired by God.

An even greater shock was finding that one of my teachers was an avowed atheist and particularly sharp toward any student who believed in God. He singled out one boy in our class, who wore a kippah, as the object of sarcastic remarks and ridicule.

My frustrations at this new school challenged me to study the Bible for myself. It was an eye-opening experience to study the books of Isaiah, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, and the other prophets. The prophecies concerning the return of the Jews to our homeland amazed me.

Because of my disenchantment over the way the Bible and other subjects were taught, I began to question the wisdom of attending public school. After two and one-half years, I left and enrolled in a school at which I could study mostly at home and go to classes just two days each week.

This was a period of deep soul-searching for me, a time of seeking for truth. Since I was studying at home I had a lot of time to think and read. I knew I had not found satisfaction in a religious Orthodox lifestyle, even though I appreciated and identified with the traditions. But I had to ask myself, If keeping the commandments does not bring me peace and a closer relationship with God, then what does? I was searching for the answers to other questions as well: What is the purpose of my life here on earth? Who is God, really? What will happen to me after I die?

I tried to find answers in philosophical books, but they left me confused, raising more questions than answers. I gained no satisfaction from studying them.

Yom Kippur War
My quest for truth was suddenly interrupted by the Yom Kippur War in 1973. This was the hardest war Israel has ever faced. All our Arab neighbors attacked us, declaring a Holy War for Allah, on the holiest day of the Jewish year. Their sole intent was to destroy Israel and annihilate the Jewish population. We were totally unprepared, and consequently this war was a terrible tragedy for us. In Israel, in time of war, all reserve units are called up to strengthen the army. My two brothers and my father were again fighting in a war they had not wanted. Unlike 1967, this became a very personal war to me, as many of my friends and neighbors were either wounded or killed. I was devastated and in deep mourning. I cried to God for answers.

In January 1974, I began my military service, which every Israeli teenager enters at age 18. I served in the navy. It was just after the Yom Kippur War, and I saw some of my friends and acquaintances coming home wounded, some very severely, from the war. This increased my longing to know God and to know what the hereafter had in store for me. I asked all sorts of questions, but never received any clear answers.

Premature Marriage
I had served in the navy for one year when I married and obtained a release from service. A release was generally granted to girls getting married and starting a home. My husband, Avi, was an old friend I had known before I went into the navy. He was six years older than I and a confirmed atheist.

I still do not know what induced me to marry. As I reflect on it now, I realize I was far too young and made an impulsive decision. However, there was a lot of confusion in those days and emotions were blown out of proportion. I had lost friends in the war and felt I was in danger of losing another. Even though the marriage was a mistake, I know God was watching over my life.

Our relationship fell apart after only one year. After giving up all hope that our marriage would ever amount to anything, we agreed to separate. But the day we decided to get a divorce, Avi had to go to the Galilee on a press assignment (he was a press photographer). On the way back he was involved in a serious traffic accident in which his friend, the driver of the car, was killed, and Avi was seriously injured. It was a miracle he came out of the wreckage alive. He suffered a severe concussion, which the doctors told him would require a long period of rest. Ironically, just a few days after the accident, I discovered I was pregnant. Because of Avi’s injuries and my pregnancy, we decided to stay together. When he left the hospital, however, Avi went to his mother’s home for several months to recuperate.

Transcendental Meditation
Meanwhile, I was under tremendous pressure. I was 20 years old, pregnant with my first baby and in a marriage hanging together by a thread. I was trying to earn a living and at the same time visit my husband in the hospital every day. I had to travel from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv, and then spend hours in the intensive care unit. Since I could not really communicate with Avi, I would sit and watch the injured soldiers entering the hospital. One had been explaining to his friends how to dismantle a hand grenade when it exploded in his face. His brain had died but his heart kept beating. I saw others die or remain comatose.

Again I was caught in a web of circumstances that forced me to think about issues of life and death. I knew there had to be answers to my questions—answers that would change my life. I also knew I would have no peace until I found them.

I got a part-time job working for the Ministry of the Treasury. While there, I made friends with a lady deeply involved in transcendental meditation (TM). She knew I was going through a hard time and encouraged me to come to their meetings, believing they held the answer for me. In my desperation, I finally yielded to her persuasions and let her enroll me in a course. I had been very concerned this might be a religion, despite her assurance it wasn’t. However, toward the end of the course, my friend said, “I forgot to tell you, there is a closing ceremony, but you can ignore what takes place.” This aroused my curiosity.

We were told to bring an apple and a new white handkerchief as an offering for the maharishi (though I did not realize at first what was taking place). One by one we were taken into a small room with a TM instructor who stood in the back whispering incantations while the incense smoke arose by the picture of the guru. I laid down my apple as an offering to the maharishi. Then the instructor gave me my own special mantra to repeat while meditating.

The ceremony made me very uncomfortable, and I went home in despair. This was in stark contrast to TM’s promises of personal fulfillment, joy, peace, and contentment. I tried to ignore the religious part of the course and continued doing the exercises and the early morning meditations as I believed it would help me in my pregnancy.

I knew something was wrong, but I could not put my finger on it. Then suddenly it hit me: “By doing TM, I’m worshiping other gods!” Once I understood the implications, I was almost physically sick. I confronted my TM friend: “You said this wasn’t a religious course, but now I realize I was ensnared in idolatry!”

A New Profession
As time went by, Avi improved physically. He started working a few hours a day in his lab, but was frustrated with his physical limitations and inability to provide properly for his family. He became self-absorbed and lost his temper easily. It was difficult to communicate with him. After the dreadful experience of TM and with my married life deteriorating, I turned more and more to God with my questions, crying out to Him for comfort, appealing to Him for help in my distress, and begging Him to reveal Himself to me.

When trouble comes, it does not seem to stop. Avi broke the metal plate in his hip and had to be rushed to the hospital. He had an emergency operation and once again was confined to the hospital for several months. This time he had a plaster body cast. He was admitted to a private hospital close to home, so I didn’t have to travel as far to visit him.

Through Avi’s long-term illness, I had taken on the responsibility of supporting the family, but I was only working part-time at the Ministry of Treasury, so I began to look for a second job.

It was at that time that God began to answer my prayers. A friend of ours knew of a printing business looking for a computer typist to operate a typesetting machine. One day he called us to see how we were doing. He asked if I knew of anyone looking for a part-time job. “Yes, I know someone—me,” I said. “But I have no training in typesetting.”

He quickly replied, “That doesn’t matter. If you take the job, they will train you!”

“Then I’ll take it,” I announced. “I would love to learn a new profession.” Little did I know what God had in mind.

From my first day at the printing firm, I knew I was part of something very special. There was a wonderful atmosphere, and the few people I saw were very kind to me. Even the interview with the manager was pleasant.

Although I started out with no knowledge of computers, after a while I became quite proficient. I worked in a tiny room where I operated one computer and Ibrahim, a young Beduin Arab, operated the other. He was about my age, 23, married, and already had four children.

A Different New Testament
One morning my employer handed me an envelope with a manuscript for me to typeset. When I pulled it out, I discovered it was the New Testament in Hebrew.

My first reaction was, “Oh no, this can’t be real! What sort of place is this? Why do they want to print the New Testament in Hebrew here? Are they missionaries?”

For a while I sat there struggling with my conscience: What chutzpah (nerve) they have! Shall I do it? What am I supposed to do? My mind whirled. I needed the job, but how could I work on such a thing?

I felt I had no choice so I began. It was difficult to open the manuscript and start typing, thinking I was contributing to the work of missionaries, helping them convert Jewish people and steal Jewish souls. I vividly recalled a story I had read as a child about a widow named Hannah who had seven children. She lived during the time of the Inquisition. When faced with the choice of death or bowing to the cross, she heroically refused to yield, choosing death rather than conversion.

As I began to type and read the New Testament, it was different than I had expected. To my amazement, on the first page was the genealogy of Yeshua, which showed Him to be a descendant of Abraham of the line of David. My first discovery was: Yeshua was a Jew! And the disciples were Jews! The longer I worked on the manuscript, the clearer it became to me the New Testament was a Jewish book! Then the questions began: What’s wrong with it?, I thought. Why are the rabbis so against it? Why do they reject this book? All these questions went through my mind while typing.

I had been brought up to believe that Jesus was the God of the Christians and that the New Testament was a Christian book, yet I knew I was typesetting a book that was completely Jewish. How could this be? And if Christians followed a Jewish book, how could they have persecuted the Jewish people for so many centuries?

And so the struggle for my salvation began. My heart was no longer at peace. In my head it made sense to me that Yeshua was the Jewish Messiah, but my upbringing kept my heart from accepting that idea.

As I read the words of Yeshua in HaBrit HaHadashah (the New Testament), truth began to shine into my life. Yeshua said all actions stem from a person’s heart, and God is concerned with our thoughts and motives—not just our actions. That really struck home.

Then came the amazing revelation of eternal life. I thought, This is the answer I have been seeking for a long, long time. All I have known up until now has been very obscure concerning eternal life, but Yeshua’s words are very clear and certain and I can understand them. The words of Yeshua pierced to the very depths of my heart, and although I was still fighting, God was winning the battle.

Is This Truth?
Two major questions remained: Is this really the truth or am I deceiving myself? and, Why does the name of Yeshua generate so much anger among the Orthodox Jews?

I began to look up the references in the Tanakh (the Old Testament) to check them against quotes in the Gospels. I wanted to know if the prophecies and promises of Yeshua’s coming were really written in the Tanakh. I delved deeply into the subject.

After many months of searching, I felt I could go no further without help. So I began to ask all my friends: “Who is the Messiah really?” “Why hasn’t the Messiah come yet?” “Why couldn’t Yeshua be the Messiah?” I bombarded everyone I met with my questions, even people I hardly knew. I was not ashamed, but was very open about it.

Still I had doubts about whether Yeshua was Messiah. Sometimes I felt as if I had found a great treasure, but a little later, I would dismiss it again. My turmoil lasted for months.

During this time, Avi was discharged from the hospital and came back to live with me again as we had decided to give our marriage another chance. While he had almost recovered from his initial concussion, his legs were still in casts.

After I had finished typing the New Testament, I was given various Christian books to typeset in Hebrew. These included The Hiding Place, a book about Corrie ten Boom, a Christian who had hidden Jews during the Holocaust; Run Baby Run, the story of Nicky Cruz, a New York gang leader whose life was changed by faith in Yeshua; and Joni, the story of Joni Erikson, whose faith had sustained her when she became a quadriplegic as the result of a swimming accident. Those books made a great impression on me. While I was working on the computer, tears would sometimes run down my cheeks. I saw how God’s love had touched people and radically changed their lives.

I See an Angel
About nine months after I had started typesetting the New Testament and the other books into Hebrew, I was troubled more than ever with my many questions. But no one I asked was able to give me satisfactory answers.

One night in desperation I went to my bedroom and cried out to God: “God, please show me the way I should go. Is Yeshua the true Messiah of Israel or is He a false Messiah? If He is the true Messiah, I want to follow Him and serve Him. But if He is not, please let me forget about Him.”

Right after I prayed, I saw a vision of a man clothed in a long white robe. His bearded face was shining and full of glory. The countenance of the man was majestic. I did not understand the meaning of this vision, yet I felt God was trying to give me a sign.

The next day I left work at 3:00 p.m. and was standing at the bus stop watching for the next bus. Suddenly, I saw a man coming toward me from the other side of the street. I realized I had seen him before. He had the same face, the same long hair, the same beard, and the same clothes as the man I had seen in the vision the night before. A shock ran through my body, and the experience gave me goose bumps. I looked around to see if anyone else at the bus stop saw him, but no one indicated noticing him. As I looked back toward him, I saw that he had disappeared.

I realized this was God’s sign. The tall, bearded man was the man in my vision. It couldn’t be a coincidence, my meeting the same man from the vision in the street. I knew it was an angel and I rejoiced!

At last I was convinced Yeshua was the Messiah. I had total peace and an overwhelming joy in my heart. The struggles between my head and my heart were over. I was thrilled to know I was finally on the right path. This was my turning point.

When I got home, I was so excited about what I had seen, I blurted out to my husband, “Do you know what has just happened? I had a vision and after that I saw an angel, and he was from God. Yeshua is the Messiah. I’m certain of it!” The revelation was so real to me, I did not consider anyone might doubt it. But Avi, a confirmed atheist, looked at me mockingly as if I had gone crazy. He made fun of me in front of my friends. When he had an attentive audience, he would say sarcastically, “Have you heard? Batya saw an angel and now she believes in Yeshu!” (This is a derogatory name for Yeshua.) On those occasions I wished the ground would swallow me.

When we were alone I would say to him, “You just don’t do that sort of thing! This is something personal, something intimate. You can’t ridicule prayer and the things that I experienced with God. This is something between me and God.”

I Lose My Daughter
Our relationship continued to deteriorate. I was very vulnerable as a new believer in Yeshua. I had no idea what direction my life would take nor much inner certainty about the future. I needed brothers and sisters in the body of Messiah to support me. But Avi forbade me to meet with other believers or to read the Bible. “If you continue doing this,” he told me, “I shall fight you in the highest courts and take our daughter away from you.”

True to his word, Avi moved ahead with his vendetta. I was ordered to appear before the Rabbinical Court. When Avi arrived, I noticed he was carrying a briefcase. I had no idea what was in it. My lawyer, a religious man, could not guess either. When he came before the judge, Avi opened the case and produced all the books I had typed, plus my New Testament.

“These are her books,” he shouted, pointing at me. “She is a missionary! And I won’t have her bringing up my daughter!” There was a great commotion in the courtroom. The rabbis seemed gravely concerned. After consultation, they forbade Avi to allow me into the house and said that I could no longer raise my daughter. They gave him full custody. My lawyer requested a recess, but they refused. I shouted at the rabbis before I left the courtroom, “God is the only Judge. He will make the decision about where my daughter will be. If God wishes for her to be with me, He will make it possible.” My courage to speak amazed me. I almost felt as though the Lord had spoken those words through me.

With a heavy heart and tears streaming down my face, I hugged and kissed my daughter good-bye and closed the door of my house behind me. I had been banished. Defeated. I couldn’t understand why God had allowed it to happen.

Yeshua, Please Help!
“Lord,” I cried, “this is too much for me. Please help me! I cannot bear this!” With my mouth I said that I was sacrificing my Isaac as Abraham had, but my heart was not in it. She was my daughter! I was leaving my daughter! It felt as though a sword were piercing my soul. I cried, “Oh, Yeshua, please help me!”

Amazingly, the separation from my daughter lasted only three days. A finding by the civil court annulled the verdict of the religious court because of a technical error. But I knew it was a miracle from God.

My daughter was with me again! I could take her in my arms and hold her. By the grace of God, I have been able to bring her up, and she is still living with me to this very day. She is now 18 years old and about to enter the Israeli Army. I am proud of her and love her very, very much. The battle in the courts for custody of Tali lasted eight years, including about four years in the Supreme Court of Israel. Year after year it dragged on until Avi decided to marry another woman and pressed me to agree to a divorce.

It is amazing how God can use the evil things in the world to bring about good. This fight, which was really persecution for my belief in Yeshua, stimulated my spiritual growth. I had to learn to fight to survive, even though still a baby spiritually. The fight strengthened me and the problems refined me. The Lord gave me many insights and my relationship with Him became very deep and secure.

A few years later I became involved with a group of believers who were musicians; we would meet to sing and pray. One evening, we were praying together in a circle and when I opened my eyes, I saw a young man who had come in late. There was something very familiar about him though I had never met him before. After that, I kept running into him in Jerusalem. I learned that his name was Barry, and I found that I enjoyed his sense of humor.

Barry’s whole life before he came to the Lord had revolved around music. He once had been a professional rhythm and blues musician, a style of music totally alien to me. I had heard such music one time as a child, but did not like it at all. When Barry found Yeshua he gave up his guitar (although later God was to use this talent in ministry for Himself). Barry was one of the best guitarists I had ever heard, and, as I also played guitar, we really got on well together.

As the years went by, Barry and I got to know each other well. He was a constant prayer companion for me in my court battles over Tali. We began to work together and finally came to realize that God had brought us together to be man and wife. We had two wedding celebrations, a traditional Yemenite Jewish wedding and a Messianic celebration. It was a wonderful time for both of us. It was not easy for our parents to accept our faith, but the wedding helped give them some insight, and praise God, they never cut us out of their lives. Barry’s father, a traditional, Conservative Jew, does not agree with the ultra-Orthodox position that Messianic Jews are no longer Jews.

My parents know I am a believer in Yeshua and they accept it. They love Barry, and I am still my father’s little girl. They love our children: our daughter Tali, our lovely six-year-old son, Ariel (“Lion of God” and one of the names of Jerusalem), and our beautiful daughter, Liran, who is almost two. My parents get great joy from their grandchildren. We have spent many a Shabbat at their table—a mixture of Yemenite Orthodoxy and Messianic Judaism. As Jewish Orthodox people who have great respect for God and His Word, they express their joy at seeing how God has blessed me with a new family.

Call to Fast for Israel

2009-01-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

January 08, 2009

Dear Watchman,

Greetings from Jerusalem, Happy New Year! We believe this year 2009 will be a year of continued shakings and salvation in Jerusalem, Israel, the Arab Middle East and all nations. Thanks for your prayers over the last weeks since the Gaza War began.

We are calling for a Forty-Day Daniel Fast and Prayer beginning 6pm on the 6th of January 2009 and ending at 6:00pm on the 15th of February 2009, for the following purposes:

For terrorism weapons which threaten Israel from Hamas in Gaza and other sources in Iran and Middle East to be eliminated as much as possible.
God¹s Biblical solution for Israel, Judea and Samaria and Gaza to become clear to the Church, politicians, Israel and the nations.
For God¹s breakthrough in reconciliation, anointed worship and prayer during our 23rd Israel and Middle East Convocation, the 13th-16th of January 2009 in Istanbul, Turkey. We expect 120 Joshua Generation leaders from twelve Middle East nations.
For God’s best government to come into place for the future through the planned election in Israel on February 10, 2009, and also the best government for Palestinians and Arab nations.
For the Christians and nations worldwide to stand with Israel and God’s Covenant with Israel.
For the Jews in the West, especially the USA to come to understand God’s Kairos time in the financial shakings and prepare to come home to Israel. Hosea 11:10-11 ”When the Lion roars His people will come trembling from the West.”
For God’s salvation, reconciliation and worship to be manifest among Arabs and Jews to see Isa. 19:23-25 fulfilled as much as possible.

Psa 122:6 – Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: “May those who love you be secure.”

As Air Forces of Prayer in all nations, we ask you to join the Ground Forces of Prayer in Jerusalem and Israel as a prayer and fasting shield during these forty days.

Zec 12:8 – “On that day the Lord will shield those who live in Jerusalem, so that the feeblest among them will be like David, and the house of David will be like God, like the Angel of the Lord going before them.”

There are now four 24-hour watches in Jerusalem and one each in the North of Israel, Tel Aviv-Coastal Region, and the South of Israel, made up of dozens of congregations.

Shalom in Messiah’s Love,

Tom Hess, Jerusalem
Avner Boskey, Beersheva
David Davis, Haifa
Naim Khoury, Bethlehem
David Lazarus, Tel Aviv
Daniel Yahav, Tiberias

Reference Link

On Christian Unity by Rick Joyner

2009-01-19T20:24:00.000+08:00

Discerning the Times, Part 14

The year 2009 will bring extraordinary growth in faith and peace for those who serve the Lord. One major reason for this is because it will also be a year of extraordinary unity. There will be a coming together in the body of Christ this year in ways that we have probably not seen in our lifetime. The result is going to be a release of even more power and light, which will result in ever-increasing faith and peace with His people.

We have been covering ways that the church is beginning to rise up to fulfill its last-day purpose of preparing the way for the Lord. Two primary ways that this is accomplished is by preaching the gospel of the kingdom throughout the world and building a highway for the kingdom as we see in Isaiah 40.

In a basic way, the church is called to be this highway. It is called to be a representative of the coming King and a reflection of His kingdom upon which people enter and travel toward their ultimate destiny. One of the aspects of the kingdom that we see in biblical prophecy is that after the kingdom comes, the earth will again come into harmony to the degree that even the lions will lie down with lambs, children will be able to play with cobras, and no one will hurt anyone else. Therefore, one of the basic ways that we can expect the church to begin reflecting the kingdom will be by her unity and harmony.

As we also see in biblical prophecy, the world will fall into increasing confusion and conflict at the end of this age, so the church will be moving in the exact opposite direction of the world in many basic ways. As fear increases in the world, the church will be growing in faith and peace. One reason for this will be the increase of unity. Faith gets multiplied with unity. That is why the Lord said in Matthew 18:19, "...if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.”

The word that is translated “agree” here means much more than just intellectually assenting to something; rather, it implies a deep heart unity. We can derive from His teachings several reasons why He requires faith to be unified with another in order to move in extraordinary ways. One is that the unity of His people is one of the primary issues on the Lord’s heart, which we see in His prayer in John 17. Another is that God gives His grace to the humble, and it takes all of the qualities of humility to come into unity with someone else.

Some teach that Matthew 18:19 is really saying that if we come into unity with the Lord and ask anything, then it will be done for us. Of course, that would be true, but this verse does say to “agree on earth,” which makes it quite clear that He is saying this agreement must be with another person.

In Genesis 11:6, the Lord describes the power of unity when speaking of what is happening with those who are seeking to build the tower of Babel: “And the Lord said, 'Behold, they are one people, and they all have the same language. And this is what they began to do, and now nothing which they purpose to do will be impossible for them.'"

Unity does have that kind of power. As we discussed earlier, even a small degree of unity with a small group of people can have extraordinary impact. Karl Marx taught that just a tiny fraction of passionate people would control the rest who were indifferent. Lenin then proved this by taking over Russia, a nation of millions, with just 20,000 Bolsheviks. Likewise, if just a few thousand Christians came into unity and began to live with the resolve and willingness to sacrifice for their cause like the Bolsheviks did for theirs, the impact for light and truth would be so great that many nations would be transformed. Remember what the officials of one of the most powerful empires of the world said when Paul and Silas limped into their city—“Those who have turned the world upside down have now come to us!” (see Acts 16) That was just two people!

This year we are going to begin to see extraordinary results from Christians who begin to grow in unity. Resolve that you will be a part of it. Over the next few weeks we are going to address some of the practical ways that we will see this happen. To prepare for this in your own heart, begin to pray for your fellow Christians, especially for any who have disappointed you or wounded you in the past. Pray for them to be filled with the Spirit of God, to know His peace, and to grow in His faith. If there is anything that you can do to bring reconciliation to any degree, do it.

I love God. :D He makes fascinating universal laws, and has the ultimate power to veto these laws AS NEEDED.

I'm so glad to be a daughter of the Most High King. :)

Ikaw, are you "One of Us?" Join na!

(parang commercial ah.)

Kingdom Government Disclaimer: Christianity is not an exclusive religion or system of belief. Christianity is based on one thing: Forgiveness. God has forgiven you of your sin, when Jesus died on the cross for you. Love Jesus, get to know how fascinating He is, and He'll give you... More than you can ask for or imagine.

I love You Lord...

2009-01-19T18:05:00.000+08:00

Psalm 37:3 Trust the LORD, and do good things. Live in the land, and practice being faithful. 4 Be happy with the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Entrust your ways to the LORD. Trust him, and he will act [on your behalf]. 6 He will make your righteousness shine like a light, your just cause like the noonday sun.

Thank you, Lord, for acting on my behalf and being my champion in my "just causes."

Nyehehe!

Luke 14:26

You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot come with me unless you love me more than you love your own life.

Uhuu. Uhuu. *coughing* Nabulunan ako.

Goodbye, Havaianas, goodbye Pizza. Goodbye stuff that I don't need but keep bugging God for. Hello dying to self, and trusting that He will make me rich, in His time. Trusting too, that I will get all the computers I've always wanted, when I'm ready, and when I'm no longer greedy for them, and when I actually do need these na.

Praise for a loving Father-God!

Praise for a God who loves giving Lorie more than friends, supernatural cash-less provision, but also cash provision, and blessings to spill over to more friends and... YES, my forthcoming MACBOOK PRO (which I won't need to agonize over, btw)!!!

Againagainagain:

Psalm 37:3 Trust the LORD, and do good things. Live in the land, and practice being faithful. 4 Be happy with the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Entrust your ways to the LORD. Trust him, and he will act [on your behalf]. 6 He will make your righteousness shine like a light, your just cause like the noonday sun.

Yehey!

A Macbook Pro is a just cause for a person who works online, don't you think? Nyehehe!

And Nay, Tay, you won't be the ones to pay for this, this time. God will make His ways, you'll see. Thank you for buying me Sayuri, and providing me with computers since I was 8.

I love you both!!!

We're the E-e-e-e-e-e-EWOKS!

2009-01-14T07:21:00.000+08:00

Whee!!! Eeeeeeeeewokkkkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

I used to love these guys mondo much. Though I realize now that the theme, in my memory, was rather magical, In reality, it actually sounds a little lame/corny..

Now I truly realize that a child's brain is different from the adult's. :)

However, EWOKS STILL ROCKS!!!

Do not worry about...

2009-01-13T06:44:00.000+08:00

Victory Christian Fellowship preaches the same thing, for this year-opening season. So you could understand that this is God's global call to believers and anyone human, right?

Discerning the Times, Part 13

As we are told in Hebrews 12 and other verses, everything that can be shaken will be shaken. However, we have been given a kingdom that cannot be shaken. A primary way that we build our lives on the kingdom that cannot be shaken is to use the key of the kingdom for every major decision in our lives. The key of the kingdom is described in Matthew 6:31-33:

“Do not be anxious then, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘With what shall we clothe ourselves?’
“For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.”

The first thing the Lord tells us to do is to refuse anxiety. Anxiety is a lack of faith in God. This is an especial affront to God because when we are anxious, we are implying that the problems are bigger than God. Whenever we begin to feel anxious, we must learn to look at God and resolve that we are going to use our trials to increase our faith in Him. He is much bigger than all of the world’s problems combined.

God is the ultimate answer to every human problem, and He wants to demonstrate this, starting with ours. We must trust Him, and anxiety is evidence that we do not trust Him. Reject anxiety. It is the sin of unbelief. We repent of sin by confessing it and then turning away from it. Determine that your response to a problem will not be to feel anxious, but to see it as a wonderful opportunity to grow in our faith in Him. We read in I Peter 1:6-9:

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,
that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.

To be tempted is not sin. We can all be tempted to doubt and to be anxious, but the quicker we recognize it and turn away from it, turning our attention instead to God, the more we will learn to walk in the peace of God. Walking in the peace of God is basic to a victorious life, as we are told in Romans 16:20: “And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” Notice that he did not say that the “Lord of hosts,” which means the “Lord of armies” would crush Satan, but the God of peace would. It is the peace of God that is an impregnable fortress. The peace of God is the linchpin fruit of the Spirit, which if we lose it, all of the other fruits of the Spirit will also be lost. Think about it: If you lose your peace, you will quickly lose your patience and faith—then it is hard to love…. We must guard our peace.

We can count on this being tested this year by many events in the world. Let us resolve now that instead of worrying about the things happening in the world, that we are going to grow in our trust in the Lord because He has already overcome the world. He is bigger than the world.

The best way to put our trust in the Lord is the next thing the Lord said to do after telling us not to be anxious—seek first His kingdom in everything we do. If we are anxious, it can be a sign that we have not been building our lives on the kingdom God, but rather the things of this world. Regardless of how far off the path we have gone, we can get back on the path by determining now to seek first the kingdom in everything we do, making it the most basic issue in every major decision that we make. When we know we are seeking the Lord first and His kingdom, the peace of God will come upon us. Having the peace of God rule in our lives will be critical in the times to come.

"Everybody want Messiach"

2009-01-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

I may not understand a whit of Hebrew, but all I know is that I agree with these kids."Everybody want Messiach NOW!" (Messiach = Messiah = Savior)

New Christian Music Finds! Oooo! Whee!

2008-12-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

I'm currently working on a personal project then gearing to create my 20-year paradigm in order to, well, order my life.

While I was looking for an old song that had touched my heart back in my dark days, Jars of Clay's Much Afraid, I bumped into this amazing complement to iMeem: jango.com

Jars of Clay - Much Afraid

Jars of Clay - Even Angels Cry

Matthew West - All The Broken Pieces

Jaci Velasquez - Speak for Me

Superchic[k ]- Hold

Casting Crowns - While You Were Sleeping

MAN. I love the Innernets. If you loved this new site, please say a prayer for me, if you want to thank me in kind.

Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you what to pray for, and I'll be grateful you prayed for me. :)

Inform me via comment or private message that you prayed for me, and I'll say a Spirit-led prayer for you too.

I sure pray you had a great Christmas, and I pray that 2009 would be doubly fruitful for you and your fam, that, 2008's fruits would just be a shadow of what 2009's harvest brings!*

*Paraphrased from my good friend Pau

I Just Knew I Wouldn't Be Able To Stop

2008-12-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

Casting Crowns - Let Me Love You

Misty Edwards - Finally I Surrender

Heather Clark Band - Deeper

Heather Clark Band - I Present Myself As A Living Sacrifice

Brian and Jenn Johnson - A Little Longer

I knew I'd find it hard to stop sharing with you, just as soon as I had posted the blog. Here were my iMeem picks over the past few days. I love how God has allowed the Internet to be the answer to the prayers of millions of Filipino Christians who had been longing for decent Christian radio here in this country.

I know that Jam 88.3 plays Christian music as well, but I don't have FM of late. Also, it just rocks that the music I find have not even been released yet, at times.

Here are my old-time faves, before I forget:

Amber N. Brooks - Like You Promised
Nina Landis - Captivated (Just look for it on her playlist)
Meredith Mauldin - Release the Angels (Same as Nina Landis, please just look for the song on her playlist)

And of course, the unbeatable women that got me started on my next level of loving Christian music:

Rebecca St. James - Lion

Misty Edwards - You Won't Relent

And prior to my discovery of Rebecca St. James or Misty Edwards, here are the rainshowers that have kept my heart alive through my dark adolescent years:

Caedmon's Call - Shifting Sand
Caedmon's Call - Love Alone
Caedmon's Call - Piece of Glass

Jars of Clay - Worlds Apart
Jars of Clay - Hymn
Jars of Clay - Flood
Jars of Clay - Liquid

Man, it feels like only yesterday when I've had those Caedmon's Call and Jars of Clay songs as anthems. I can't believe the difference of the angsty-ness of these anthems, as opposed to the lovesick-for-Jesus songs that I listen to today...

I guess it's really the way the Christian travels: from darkness and despair, and into light. :)

I'm so glad that I'm singing for the Lord to be my fire now, as opposed to "Take me out of the dark, my Lord.."

It was not a happy place to be in constant despair, you know. (Mighty redundant for a bit there, but anyway..)

I still have my moments, mind you. But these are more manageable now, thanks to how God takes care of me so well.

I'm just happy to be His daughter. :)

And here I am, sharing with you the songs that had earmarked my journey. :)

It was only yesterday that I had been swimming in the gunk of constant angst and pain, and today, I can finally use the word... "Happy."

I used to swear that word off. I used to despise the people who could use yellows and pinks for their profiles. Today, I am one of those who can use pink and yellow on my profile.

Uh-mazing.

God is. Not meh. Coz as I had realized one time, how I got here was not a function of actually agonizing about things. I had gotten to this happy place, one prayer at a time, one issue surrendered at a time. And oh, one command obeyed at a time.

I can't believe it, 2009 is dawning, and I have never felt better in my life. I had never felt this much hope and this much balance, as well as love in my life before.

And I owe it all to Jesus, for whom all these songs were sung. :)

I love You Lord!!!

(And yes, if you liked the songs on my post, nevermind my self-absorbed blabbering, please say a prayer for me, and let me know so that I can say a prayer for you too!

Hugs and Love!)

Welcome 2009 With Hope - Encouragement from Rick Joyner

2008-12-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

There are three major fronts on which the church will be mobilizing to fight and to be the light of the world, combating the great darkness of our times. These are a basic part of our mandate as the church and there have been many victories in the past, but in recent times, much ground has been lost with each. We will not retreat any further! We will rise up to take the land—the inheritance that we have been given.

The first front we covered was to mobilize for education. To be the light of the world is a call to illumination or education. When the church is in unity, it has resources available for this which are greater than any other entity, including the secular media. There is movement toward this unity, and if we come together as the church, the illumination of the truth will be magnified many times over, and it will have the impact of turning many nations to the Lord. However, as we think of education, we must think far beyond schools and consider all of the ways that people are influenced in their worldview.

The second major front is to strengthen our own foundations, becoming the great society that is built on love, and the excellence of a discipline that is motivated by love, not law. This must especially be done in relation to families so the church can become the family that it is called to be. Family is one of the primary targets of the devil’s assaults in these times because he knows very well the power of them to be a light in this world. Godly families and churches that become the families they are called to be will stand out more and more in these times as a very bright light, leading many to salvation and victory over evil.

Of course, there is much more that can and needs to be said about these basic fronts, but now we want to highlight front #3—a kingdom economy.

We are called to be “a holy nation.” Before the end of this age, the church will be perceived to be a nation within the nations. Its main unity will be spiritual, but it will also be very practical. It will be so practical that when it is determined that no one on the earth can buy, sell, or trade unless they have the mark of the beast, those who are a part of this holy nation will not care about that because they will be part of another economy which is much greater than the world’s economy.

Of course, the big question is how will this happen? How will the church become a separate economy that can be sustained and prosper? It has been done before on smaller scales, and we need to learn from these examples. The foundation of this is becoming the citizens in heaven that we are called to be—living in the world but not being of it. This is not a matter of becoming cloisters or hidden self-sustained communities out in the wilderness somewhere. It is much bigger and greater than that. It is having access to heaven and all of its resources, just as Jesus came to show us how to access and to become the Door to this transcendent life. The Lord did not do this so that we could escape the world, but to help save it.

As we have addressed previously, Isaiah 40 tells us that we prepare the way for the Lord by building a highway. Spiritually, a highway is a “higher-way.” It is the way to the kingdom. It is the path of life. Right now all three of the fronts we have discussed have been crumbling. The wheels are coming off of public education, and in the West, the basic core structure of the family has been disintegrating. Now the economy is shaking to the point where we are in danger of a collapse. In short, everything that can be shaken is shaking right now, but we are called to be a part of the kingdom that cannot be shaken.

Just as the Lord had to shake Egypt to its foundations in order to set Israel free so that it could build a nation that was called to be a light to the world, the whole world is now going to be shaken to its foundations so that God’s people can be set free to become the light that they are called to be. The statue in Daniel 2 is beginning to collapse, and the little stone that struck at its feet is going to become a mountain and fill the whole earth. The way to be a part of that which is growing instead of collapsing is simple and straightforward, but it requires the faith and courage to be different, and to stand out because of those differences. It will require us to have the light, walk in the light, and be the light. Every day the world will get more desperate for that light.

This coming year will be one of the best ever for those who seek the Lord. The Lord promised us abundant life. That does not mean that it is going to all be good, but that there will be a lot of it. Great changes are coming in the world. We need to see them before they come and make the necessary changes before they come upon the world so that we are standing on solid, unshakable ground. We need to get practical and specific in addressing these. This is not just knowing what is going to happen and what we should be doing—it is about growing in faith and getting closer to the Lord.

“But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (I Timothy 1:5).

As things tend to get increasingly complicated in the world, one of the ways that we can be a light is to keep the simplicity of devotion to Christ. He is the answer to every problem we have. The ultimate witness of the gospel of the kingdom is that the King is coming, and He will fix everything. Don’t ever forget that, and it is just as good a promise for our personal lives as it is for the world. Even if we are in a mess because of our own foolishness, greed, or any other sin, the world is likewise in its mess for the same reasons. He did not come to condemn, but to save.

Get ready for a very exciting, fulfilling New Year that will stretch our faith— something that is far more valuable than gold.

As we come to the close of this most exciting year, many are entering the New Year with a feeling of dread and fear because of the things going on in the world. Others are entering it with great faith and hope. Faith and hope are going to win. The best year yet will be 2009.

Every Christian should be looking to the future with great faith and hope, even if we are looking into the “great tribulation.” It does not matter what comes upon the world, our King has prevailed, His kingdom is going to come, and His will is going to be done, right here on earth as it is in heaven. Bob Mumford once said, “You can read the end of the Book, and we win!” Consider this great promise in II Corinthians 2:14:

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.

As we are told in this verse, the Lord always leads us in “His triumph.” The point is that what may be His triumph may not always be the outcome that we want. His greatest triumph was the cross. Can we embrace that? If we do, we will also experience the greatest victory over evil in our lives. The year 2008 was a breakthrough for many, and many more are going to experience this in 2009. The victory is sure, and if you are one with faith, you can start enjoying it long before it is established. Fearful people are always tormented, even when things are going well. Faithful people are always living in peace and joy, even when things are not going well. We get to choose which of these we will be.

In a recent message at our church, Jack Deere said that we often make the mistake of putting our faith in an outcome rather than in the Lord. This has our hearts set on a thing rather than on Him. If we trust in the Lord, we also need to trust Him that the outcome of a matter will be what best advances His cause, what will be “His triumph,” not just ours. In many cases, the greatest triumph would be the growth of our faith, which we are told in James is more valuable than gold. We only grow in faith when we need faith.

This is not to imply that we should not pray for specific outcomes, such as a specific healing or the overcoming of a specific problem. We should not put our trust in an outcome, but in the Lord. If we would do this, we would probably see outcomes that are even better than we expect.

Many are looking at the passing of this difficult year with great relief. It is good to look at the New Year as a new beginning and to have hope and expectation. We will also look at the passing of this age in the same way. We can be absolutely sure that the age to come will be wonderful beyond what we can even now perceive. Every day that passes we are closer to the return of the Lord and the coming of His kingdom. Even so, in the meantime the world will have to go through some tribulation. The Apostle Paul preached that it is through tribulations that we enter the kingdom, and the same will be true for the world. Even so, it does not matter what the world goes through—it does not have to impact us if we are abiding in the Lord and have built our life on the kingdom that cannot be shaken.

I once had a prophetic experience in which I was suddenly standing in what I knew to be the control room of some kind of warship. I was standing in front of a radar screen, and the Lord Himself was standing right next to me. On the screen, a small blip appeared straight ahead and was moving toward us. To avoid a collision, I ordered the ship to turn 90 degrees. The blip did not move on the screen; instead it kept coming closer. I then ordered the ship to turn in the other direction, with the same result that the blip on the screen kept coming closer. I then grabbed the screen to brace myself for the impact, but nothing happened except the blip disappeared. I asked the Lord what this was, and He said it was “the great tribulation.” He said that it was coming and was unavoidable, but it was just a small blip of the radar screen of all that He is doing, and if I stayed close to Him, I would not even feel it!

Of course, I had the benefit of having this very real experience that implanted something deep in my soul. Even so, whether you trust this vision that I had or not, the point is that you can trust in the Lord, and it is sound biblical truth that when we stay close to Him we are protected, regardless of what happens.

If you are wondering about all of the martyrs who stayed close to Him but were killed, that, too, was His protection! It does not matter whether we live or die, but what matters is that we remain faithful. Our whole lives are “training for reigning,” and laying down our lives for the sake of the gospel is one of the greatest acts of faith. If we believe in the resurrection and not just the doctrine of the resurrection, we should be excited about this, glorying that we have been considered worthy of suffering for His name sake, just as the apostles and most martyrs have been.

The best year yet will be 2009. That does not mean it will not be hard, but it will be the best thing for us because He promised us in Romans 8:28-30:

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first-born among many brethren;

and whom He predestined, these He also called; and whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

One of the ways that we can begin to experience the victories more quickly is to understand that everything God allows to happen to us is for the purpose of conforming us to His Son. We can look at any trial and probably determine quickly which fruit of the Spirit He is trying to work out in us, and the most basic will always be love and faith. What would love have you to do? What would faith have you to do? That will almost always be the answer, and always remember—“Love never fails” (see I Corinthians 13: 8).

The greatest victory we could have in 2009 would be to grow in love, for God first, and then for one another. The second greatest victory would be to grow in faith. Neither of these has to come through trials, and probably would not if we were in faithful pursuit of them without having to have the trials to spur us on. However, trials that come are worth any price. On that judgment day, our success as human beings will be based more than anything on how much we loved God and one another. Be a success—grow in love. Fortify your success by growing in faith, too.

Next week we will continue with the three great fronts on which we can expect the body of Christ to advance this coming year. For now, enjoy the New Year, which is the beginning of the rest of your life. This is going to be the best year of your life!

The Funniest Book in the Bible is...

2008-12-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

JOB.

Check these two lines out:

Job 12:2-3
"You certainly are [wise] people, and when you die, wisdom will die. Like you, I have a mind. - Job

Job 18:3
Why do you think of us as cattle? - Bildad

Heheh. Poor cows. I didn't know that they were considered DUMB. Bad Bildad! Heheheh!

I love the sarcasm and word-play in Job! Don't you just love it that our God is a God who has a great sense of humor?

Lesson learned: Today, I shall deeply honor cattle. They deserve more respect than Bildad gave them. After all, Bulalo is just so delish. And no, I'm obviously not turning Hindu. Hahahahhahaha!

I love fun times in the Bible.

Movie to Watch: All Things New

2008-12-17T23:30:00.001+08:00

You see them roam the streets. They follow you with sorrowful eyes and outstretched hands. Others are content to lean on the stairs of the MRT stations, sniffing their cares away. And you have the choice: to pour our your mercy and give what you could; or to harden your heart and turn away.

All Things New is a movie for and about these young people whom we meet everyday, and promptly forget, or deliberately ignore. It is a story based on the testimony of Jonjie Barcenal, a young man studying to be a pastor in a Bible school here in Metro Manila, whose former home used to be... In the streets of a city in Mindanao.

This is the story of how Jonjie and his friends got adopted and cared for by Christian missionaries in a shelter that they managed. This is the story of how miracles happened, and how everyone, from Jonjie and his friends, were molded to become the likeness of Christ, in the process of the movie.

This is a movie that would reassure you that miracles happen. This is a movie that would break your heart, as well. While I will not assure you that your movie critic's eye would be satisfied with this movie, I will assure you that this movie will not leave you unchanged.

I came into All Things New expecting another Ploning, with all the subtlety and finesse of Panoramanila Pictures' Dante Nico Garcia and the cinematography of Optima Digital... Nobody warned me, however, that I should understand that this film should be watched with the heart, and not the movie critic's eye.

In light of that, I would like to tell the All Things New movie-goer to shelve the film review skills you've learned in high school. You don't need them here. But I do advice you to bring a box, or two, of Kleenex. I deeply regretted having only my shawl and my hands to wipe my tears with.

Highlights of the movie include the funny customs of Filipinos. And the habits and attitudes that we all have down there, swimming in our DNA. Like reading other people's letters, for example. :p

Mayen Cadd's portrayal of Angelica Oosting was reminiscent of Ploning's gentleness; however, there are stark differences. While Ploning had a gentleness that hid her quiet steel, Angelica Oosting's strength was her gentleness. She is not gentle because she is strong. Rather, Angelica Oosting is strong throughout her being gentle, because her strength is not her own: it is the grace of God, shining through her character.

While it seemed at first that Angelica Oosting is the epitome of the Christian woman: someone I believe I'll never become, there was one scene that I could so relate to. Angelica Oosting was tasked to get only five children for the shelter when they got vacated, but 20 wanted to come with her; and when she got home, she stormed into her house and fought with her husband Ken Oosting, played by Alex Compton.

I could so relate to how she demanded to know why she needed to face the heartbreaking scene of needing to choose only five street kids for the shelter, leaving fifteen others to sleep days, weeks and months more on the street.

I could relate to her helplessness, to how she felt like she should not have needed to face that confusing situation alone, and how she felt like she should have had a shield against the children's onslaught.

I realized that we women need to face a lot of trials on our own, with God as our only shield. Like men, we have our own dragons to slay, and being "women" should not exempt us from these tasks and travails.

Being women does not entitle us to a softer life. Being women, we also have our own fights to rise above as victors, and we will rob ourselves of the exhilaration of the fight and the victory won, if we keep holding on to the mentality that "we should have been protected."

I like the intensity that Mayen Cadd had portrayed that scene with, and I like how she was able to show that sweet and gentle, "perfect Proverbs 31" Christian women get righteously angry too. Heheh.

I like her easy chemistry with Alex Compton, even though I am of the opinion that their sweet moments were a bit too cheesy for my taste. :p In spite of the "cheese factor," think their tandem worked for this film. And I especially liked the look on Alex Compton/Ken Oosting's face, as Angelica Oosting railed on him; I again understood that even a Spirit-filled man gets lost for words in the face of the furious storm of his wife's tantrum. Guys, in preparation for when your wife gets this way, I suggest you start building a bomb shelter months before you marry. :p

Another strength of the film lay in Red's Concepcion's portrayal of Nardo/Jonjie. I could see myself in my rebellious moments as I saw Red defying all that could be defied; and his irreverence, defiance, and intensity fit his role perfectly.

I fondly remember how he had openly challenged Pastor Rico, a former policeman, whom he hated, and mocked Pastor Rico to his face, in the presence of the other foster kids.

While I cringed at his defiance that so reminded me of my own, I had thought that the line "Saan ba mas lumalago ang binhi? Di ba sa tae?" (Does seed not grow better in fecal matter?)

This principle actually makes sense: in agriculture, animal fecal matter IS used as fertilizer. But in the evangelistic sense of the phrase, I did realize that it's amazing that to those who had been through so much, those people whom you could really call "human waste," whose lives are marked by so much of bad decisions, those are whom you'd eventually see becoming most passionate for Jesus. I guess this is what Jesus meant when He said that those who are forgiven much love much (Luke 7:47, paraphrased). Indeed, seed does grow better in fecal matter.

Pastor Rico, as played by Dido de la Paz, also fleshed out a very vivid performance. So did Rio Locsin, and the rest of the main cast. In terms of acting, they were all superb. I have nothing to complain for their acting, and am more inclined to label myself as "breathless" at their acting prowess.

For all its flaws, for all the awkward scenes, this movie is indeed a cup of hot chocolate that warms the hard heart.

It teaches Biblical truths like forgiveness, in a heartbreaking way. It reminds parents and leaders that it's not wrong to ask for forgiveness from your children; it actually helps them heal faster. It shatters misconceptions that Christians are supposed to be walking Jesus-es: perfect and incapable of anger.

While Jesus did get righteously angry too, people expect professing Christians to be perfect and good all the time. On the contrary, like Pastor Rico, a lot of us have guns in our closets still, and we do lose our tempers too. We are human like the next derelict; our only difference is that we have a God who constantly molds us.

Other cliffhanging moments in the film include an action scene that really spoke of God's capacity to protect His children, as well as the line that Alex Compton said, "You work so hard at not working hard," (paraphrased). It hit me because it's exactly what I do: work hard at not working hard. Heheh.

At the end of the movie, the real Nardo, Jonjie Barcenal, spoke to us about his people's plight. He reminded us happy and fat Christians, that there are BILLIONS of street children still out there, needing love, needing an understanding of their value as human beings.

I got to ask Jonjie of his experiences. Yes, he did go up in front of his Bible study class and defiantly mocked Pastor Rico. Yes, he did "all that," and reverted time and again to sleeping in the streets and tried to escape life via alcohol and other substances too, and my curious self did get to understand what a "rugby trip" felt like, thanks to Jonjie's stories.

I finally gained a better understanding of why street children sniff rugby, and it's not just because they didn't want to smell the garbage and themselves. To them who know no better, rugby, is, indeed, escape-from-life-in-a-bag. I got to ask Jonjie what he saw while tripping on rugby, but more importantly, I got to ask him and understand what finally got him to commit to Christ.

Indeed, when Jesus Christ wants to make a miracle out of your life, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard," what God has in store for you.

If God can turn around a young street child's difficult life and turn him into a soon-to-be pastor, He is capable of anything.

Indeed, like Jonjie said, there are still BILLIONS of him running around, needing our love and care. And lest you get overwhelmed at the magnificent task before you, understand that you are only tasked to be faithful to the one God gives you favor with, at the moment given to you; and if he/she needs to move on, know that "one waters. another harvests" in this Kingdom.

Again, I appeal to you to watch this movie with an open heart, as well as a suspended critical eye. When you watch All Things New, you don't come to be entertained; you come to receive a greater understanding of who God is and who you are in His scheme of things.

Indeed, bring Kleenex. Two boxes, please.

May God bless and protect you wherever you go, Jonjie. And for you, dear reader, let's start to help the street kids, one moment at a time.

Blessings!

Movie to Watch: All Things New

2008-12-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

Freedom from Distractions - Lessons Learned in an MRT Station

2008-12-17T22:09:00.000+08:00

In a person's life, one of the biggest dilemmas is how to keep focused in a world filled with distractions. I learned something as I pushed past the people in MRT - Ayala Station:

I got to the area where I needed to go by keeping my eyes focused on the area where I wanted to land in, and not mind the people blocking my way.

So my lesson learned was, to get to where I need to go, I need to keep my eyes focused on God, and on the Vision He has for me; with that, I won't even know it, but I've gotten to where I needed to go, and I won't even feel the things that are distracting me.

Things that derail people include navel-gazing and nitpicking. I need to stop looking "deep into myself," and finding fault with myself, and then picking at the things that shouldn't concern me, and instead, focus on the things that matter: God and His plan for me.

This doesn't mean that I won't deal with the issues that I still have. On the contrary, I need to just surrender them to the Lord...

One thing that I learned one time was, I realized that I finally got the hang of controlling my brain: things are a lot quieter up there now; also, friends and meh have noticed, and are telling me, that I'm a lot less angry and reactive lately...

And you know what hit me?

I never really agonized to get from Point A to Point B. I never lifted a finger to get rid of my anger issues. I never lifted a finger to learn to be more faithful; All I ever did..................

Was say a prayer.

It's truly God's grace that I ever moved a single step from Point A at all. And how I got to Point B... Is nothing but a miracle.

I'm excited to move to Point C. :D

Small Beginnings

2008-12-17T16:52:00.000+08:00

Small Beginnings

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."
- Zechariah 4:10 NLT

Several years ago, I read a true story about the humble beginnings of one of the most famous composers of all time. It told of how this composer rose to greatness, and ended up touching countless lives, by simply preparing music for the Sunday services at his church each week. At the time that I read this amazing story, I was feeling very discouraged and disheartened in my work for the Lord. Reading about this man's devotion and dedication inspired me and encouraged my heart. I had been laboring in the Lord's name for many years, and had received little recognition or reward. I often asked myself questions like, "Where are the blessings? Where are my rewards?" I eventually discovered that the thing that helped me most was to shift my focus from, "What's in it for me?" to "How can I help others?"

The Bible clearly states that God's people will be richly rewarded for loving and serving Him. But it doesn't say WHEN we will be rewarded, or even how. One reason for this is that God doesn't want us focusing on our rewards, but on doing the work He has assigned us to do while we're on this earth. And He expects us to perform our work faithfully. Jesus said, "He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much." (Luke 16:10 NASB) Before the Lord entrusts us with big assignments, He tests us in smaller ones. Some people aren't interested in doing seemingly insignificant tasks for God. What they don't realize is that God may never allow them to do great things for Him, unless they are first willing to do humble tasks, and to prove themselves trustworthy.

In my case, God had called me to be a prayer intercessor. As I proved myself faithful in this capacity, He led me to begin writing devotionals. As I concentrated on preparing my devotional newsletter each week, the Lord opened a door for my work to be published in book form. As it turned out, I was in ministry many years before I received any monetary reward. Even now, most of my work is done on a strictly volunteer basis. And, frankly, I worry about Christians who have very little interest in serving the Lord without pay. Yes, it's true that the Bible is filled with promises of prosperity and reward for those who love and serve God. But most of the time, we will have to do the right thing for a long time, before we get the right results.

Scripture says, "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin." (Zechariah 4:10 NLT) When God leads us to start out small in our service for Him, we mustn't look down on our humble beginnings. If you look at the people the Lord used most throughout the centuries, you'll see that even the greatest of these started out small. One of these was the apostle Paul himself. He wrote, "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service." (1 Timothy 1:12 NASB) As we prove ourselves faithful in each assignment the Lord gives us, He will reward us with greater opportunities to serve Him. Paul went through some incredibly hard times during his years of ministry, but he fiercely fought against the urge to quit and give up, and he inspired others to do the same. He said, "Since God has so generously let us in on what He is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times." (2 Corinthians 4:1 MSG)

One of the promises from God that has kept me going in the toughest of times is Hebrews 6:10 (NIV): "God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them." The Lord is a just and righteous God, and He is committed to seeing that His people are rewarded and recognized for their work and devotion to Him. As one godly man put it, "The rewards for doing right are sometimes delayed, but they are guaranteed by God Himself." I still get discouraged in my work for the Lord sometimes, but now when I do, I just focus on the little things, helping one person at a time. If you are struggling with "small beginnings" today, I pray that this precious promise from God will be an encouragement to you--"Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be"! (Job 8:7 NIV)

Prayer: Lord, forgive me for looking down on some of the work You've assigned to me in the past. Help me to shift my focus from myself to You and others. Thank You that as I prove myself faithful in little things, You will not only promote me, but You'll make me a world-changer for Your glory!

This Caught My Eye. Makes Sense.

2008-12-17T12:37:00.000+08:00

Q. If I’m engaged and my fiancé is pressuring me to have sex, is it wrong, considering he'll be my husband?

Dec 17, '08 5:11 PM
by daxx for everyone

A. Thanks for the question. Indeed, it would be immoral to have sex outside of marriage, regardless of how close or far the wedding day is. In the eyes of God, fornication is fornication. If anything, sleeping together when you are so close to the great sacrament of marriage is even more of a problem, because two people who love each other enough to marry ought to have more concern for where the other spends eternity.

You see, being married is a lot like being pregnant. You either are, or you are not. So, I am just as married to you as your fiancé is. Until you have made the complete gift of yourselves as husband and wife, you are not to make the complete gift of your bodies to each other. When a husband and wife make love, they're expressing their wedding vows with their bodies: "I give myself totally to you." When a couple sleeps together before marriage, they're expressing a lie with their bodies because they do not totally belong to each other, even if marriage is right around the corner. Besides, 50% of all engagements break up before the big day.

Think about it: how much more special will it be on the wedding night when you've waited! I've spoken with several spouses who slept together prior to their wedding, and they've expressed to me how much they regretted it, years later. They ask themselves, "Why couldn't we wait those few months? It would have made it so much more meaningful to wear the white dress and have the Church bless our union."

Now is not the time to hop in the sack. It's a serious time to prepare for your vocation. Couples who sleep together prior to their wedding night are three times as likely to divorce as couples who save it. The sexual intimacy clouds one's vision from taking a serious look at your potential spouse. Besides, if there is on-going pressure, then this is a sign not only of disrespect, but of a lack of spiritual leadership and care for your soul. These are not minor issues. I have only been married for 14 months myself, but I can tell you that many great sacrifices await you. Marriage is hard work, and if there is not a mutual respect and spiritual harmony between you, it will be all the more difficult.

Do not forget: love is patient, and if a couple can not say no to sex, then what is their yes worth? Take this to prayer, and may God give you all the strength you need to do his will.

from http://www.chastity.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=272

The True Meaning of Christmas from Dave Ramsey

2008-12-15T18:45:00.000+08:00

The Memorable Christmas Puzzle
While living in Dallas/Ft. Worth, we learned of a family in need during the holidays. My family and I delivered food and toys to a young lady and her 2 small children. The lady told us to put the gifts away because they were all her kids would receive on Christmas Day.

As we put the food away in the kitchen, I noticed a sparsely lit tree in the corner of the living room, with a homemade wooden puzzle of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus on the floor beneath it. Her kids explained to my kids the Christmas story using that puzzle. As we approached the door to head home, her children gave my kids the homemade wooden puzzle to take home and put under our tree. Wow.

This became part of our routine each Christmas. We place that puzzle below our tree, and we remember how God gave his Son and how that family gave us all they had as we reached out to them. Eighteen years have passed by and my kids are adults. But we will never forget that special moment in our lives.
—Ken in FL

Very Sensible Marriage Advice. Heheh. :p

2008-12-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

I think... That this... Is VERY SENSIBLE advice for marriage. Heheh.

Remarkable Acapella!

2008-12-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

This is beyond awesome! (found on Happyslip.com )

Slow Me Down: Seriously Sabbath Sunday

2008-12-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

Today, I had been filled with sermons telling me to REST. The entire November was filled with such toil and trouble that I was actually already wondering if I was a member of the cast of Macbeth or something.. "Double double, toil and trouble..."

I decided not to go to church and just have my own service in my room, again. No use wasting energy getting on a jeepney and seeing energy-drainin' scenarios and energy-drainin' pplz. Heheh.

Uncannily enough, I chose Pastor Joey Bonifacio's "Curse of Restlessness" for my "Sunday Sermon." The title was just intriguing, and I just thought it would be a fun thing to listen to for my "Seriously Sabbath Sunday."

And you know what it was all about? Entering God's REST.

There is a reason why God had created us on the Sixth day, and Adam woke up to fellowship with Him on the 7th day. Pastor Joey said that this is because God did not want us to see Him working. God's priority is that we be able to walk with Him and enjoy His presence, as well as His creation with Him.

From that sermon, I realized that the constant running around and the mentality of "Busybusybusybusybusy," is not a blessing; rather it is a curse: the same curse that God had put on Cain when he committed the first murder: Restlessness.

After this sermon, I had decided to also listen to renowned prophet, pastor, teacher and writer Rick Joyner's "Entering God's Rest." Same thing. We need to rest. Same thing: God did not create TOIL. In fact, it is a curse. But God DID create LABOR, and LABOR is supposed to be enjoyable. Work is supposed to be enjoyable and holy.

After I listened to those sermons, I went, "WHOA!"

So for all those 8 weeks of grueling torture under toil, where I was actually being an idiot, running around like Alice in Wonderland's White Rabbit, I was, in reality, under a "Curse of Restlessness."

Most people would deem me crazy/idiotic/stupid for letting go of a client that had allowed me to neutralize a big chunk off my current debt. You know what, the day after I let go, and I decided to fully rest, and the depression dissipated, I FELT SO MUCH BETTER.

I let go of that client because things were already emotionally maddening. There was deception and power-playing involved, manipulation, so much strife, and it was no longer a healthy situation. My emotional makeup was absolutely shot: I hated them, I hated all work, even for the clients I've been with for a while, and even those that I had struck a great rapport with.

I had never made a better decision in my life.

After listening to this sermon, and searching for Jewish Superstar Emmy Rossum of Phantom of the Opera's SLOW ME DOWN, I finally got it.

After "my own service" at home, cooking lunch for meh and enjoying it with God in a lazy, quiet, Sunday, I went off to my boarding house's subdivision playground. I had always told God, whenever I passed by that playground, that I'd like to be on the swing at one point in my existence...

I got what I wanted yesterday. :)

I was swinging high up in the air and just being in general glee like a 5-year-old. I didn't realize that you could actually swing without anyone pushing you. Hey, I was experiencing powerful swings, and major gusts of swinging-induced air that allowed my hair to flap behind me! I was... In bliss. :D

I felt like God was pushing the swing for me, as I listened to rockin' Christian prophetic worship songs. If I knew what flying was like, swinging would most likely be just like flyin'!

So from this point on, I's swearin': Two days off fer meh after grueling seasons of work, and at least once a day of REEEEEST. It says in the Bible that we have SIX days to do our work. I might as well enjoy my Sunday Sabbaths. :D

And you, workaholic human, next Sunday, YOU TAKE A REST TOO!

Burned Out From Work? Here's A Movie to Watch: All Things New

2008-11-29T05:27:00.000+08:00

There is no arguing with the fact that there is a dearth of Godly entertainment in our midst today. We Christians are tired of the filth that imposes their twisted values on us, and we are crying out to reclaim the senses deadened by the widespread media philosophy of appealing to our basest of human desires.

If you are like me, looking for good, wholesome entertainment that allows your heart to be softened, to be all the more in tune with the Lord, then you may be looking for movies like All Things New.

In Summer 2008, The Philippines witnessed the birth of the new era of Philippine Entertainment via Ploning. And today, Christian production outfit Good News Productions International is unveiling a premiere screening of its maiden project, All Things New.

What is great about All Things New is not only the fact that it is a movie that awakens us to the realities of our country; it also awakens us to the fact that MIRACLES HAPPEN on a daily basis ON THIS SIDE OF HEAVEN. All Things New is also a testament to the redemptive power of Christ's cross.

I know for a fact that Christ's cross has changed millions of lives through the 2,000 years since the moment He's risen. This movie, All Things New, seeks to capture exactly the miracle of the radically changed life of the individual.

Over and beyond the changed lives, what is so important about the December 5 and 6, 2008 screenings of All Things New is that it allows YOU to partner in changing a life or two.

Thanks to your purchase of a ticket and watching these VIP screening/s, you will be able to help fund the outreach projects of CBN Asia, World Vision, Compassion Philippines, Christians’ Haven, Every Nation Campus Ministries, Real Life Foundation, CCF Backstreet Kids, and Jesus Revolution, in their quest to help uplift the lives of street children.

Help change the life of a street child or two. Take a break from the maddening pile of paperwork you face every week. Watch All Things New, in Podium Cinema 2.

All Things New VIP Screening Nights

Screening Dates: December 5, Friday, 7pm and 9pm
December 6, Saturday, 7pm and 9pm

Venue: Podium Cinema 2

Donor’s Contribution: Php 500

Revisiting Promises for the Philippines: Promises Being Fulfilled

2008-11-27T01:34:00.000+08:00

I was editing my previous post on my cross-posted blogs when I came across a comment that led me to research a Victory Prophet's name. After I deleted the commenter's comment, chastised him for his fear, didn't bother to delete the other posts on my other sites, I also decided to scour the other Google results, as I had found the Jesus Revolution Geocities site.

I know that the Jesus Rev conference was the venue when Cindy Jacobs had imparted God's promises for the Philippines.. I had found the video below on YouTube before, but reading the transcript allowed me to savor the Word for us once more.

This is amazing to me, because a lot of these promises had been coming true before my very eyes. While most Filipinos give in to media lies that we are poor, actually, never has the Philippines experienced greater prosperity than today. Even though our old people look back to the glory days when they could buy a lot of stuff with only Php 10, never had the Philippines experienced such progress that web and TECH companies are hurrying to get a slice of the Philippines' buying public's attention. Never have the businesses been hurrying to run to our shores until today, until this hour of history.

While India had been Asia's darling for outsourcing in the years past, thanks to the thoroughly advanced technical, programming, and mathematical skills of the Indian people, reality bit America real hard, because though Indian labor rates are around 25% of Philippine rates, Indian CSR's had given American customers trouble via their British/Indian accent. What is worse is that, for my field, writing, Indian providers give copy that would actually pave the way for Western customers to pay 2-3x more than what they originally expected to pay.

That is why the businesses are now going on a full speed transfer from other Asian nations and into our shores.

Never has the Philippines been recognized as a key outsourcing provider until today! We have the perfect balance of RATES, and QUALITY SERVICE.

Also, with the news that had been appearing, especially with the oil opening up in our country, I am seeing the promises of God just rapidly coming true.

Also, schools' spiritual doors are opening wide. University of Makati, UP Diliman, Filamer University in Roxas, UP Los Banos, Central Philippine University... A harvest of souls is happening on a wide scale.

Youth are rising up, falling in love with God, and gearing to run for their destiny in Christ. Indeed, FIREBRANDS are rising up in our midst. FIRE is passion. FIRE is who God is. Our God is an all-consuming fire.

A firebrand, in my imagination, was one of those metal thingies that people used to brand cows with; but as according to New Oxford American Dictionary, a Firebrand is: a piece of burning wood. This means that a firebrand, as it gets consumed by the fire, actually touches other pieces of wood and allows them to be consumed by fire, as well.

BUT, on the figurative definition of FIREBRAND, guess what it means? Firebrand: a person who is passionate about a particular cause, typically inciting change and taking radical action.

MAN. Isn't that amazing?!

Hey, I don't believe that we'll be EDSA Umpteewhatever adherents, okay? I'm a passionate girl, but I HATE street rallies. They're like parties of rabid dogs barking up the wrong trees.

Instead, I envision a company of youths who desire to be so radical for JESUS that bus rides are no longer mere modes of transportation. Instead, for these youths, they would be praying for people they see, for institutions they see and discern needs with. These youths would desire change, not only for themselves, but they would desire change for their families, their school, their country, and ultimately their world.

But they would not bark up the wrong trees. They would speak life into their circumstances. They would pray about anything and everything, including where they get their tuition, where they get their next meals, and where they get their shampoos. They would then graduate to depending on GOD for the bigger stuff: the computers they need, the houses they want to have, the gadgets they need, but all with the understanding that they do not ask these of God because they're spoiled kids; they ask these of God because they know they need it, and they can use these for God's greater glory!

BUT MORE SO, these youth would ask for people's hearts. Indeed, they would be FIREBRANDS, people who infect other people wherever they go: infect others with passion, love and DESIRE for JESUS CHRIST.

These youth would be so lovesick for JESUS, that they would be crying day and night for HIS Glory to be made manifest on earth, they would cry out for HIM to come home and claim HIS inheritance. These youth would set aside thoughts of marriage, as long as God doesn't say "go," because they know that God has a partner for them. Instead, they are consumed by a desire to do His will: pray for people, and pray for more FIREBRANDS.

Regarding the Forerunner anointing, I believe that it is alive and kicking. I am a personal witness to friends and family who have been promoted by GOD to other nations: not for their own economic improvement, but so that they would be able keep the Good News, the Message rolling through the countries. Oh yeah, God is allowing us to trek nations like the islands of the Philippines, baby!

If we are quick to do His will, He will promote us!!!

The exposition had been done, and it will continue. More shaking will come upon our systems and our people, those who do evil and are corrupt; but for the blameless and pure before Jesus, BECAUSE OF HIS BLOOD, He is opening their eyes, their ears, and their lips, so that they can hear directly from HIM, and speak His words of Life!!!

And you know what? God told me this Sunday, as I was tantruming inwardly because there were things that I didn't like about the Catholic priest's sermon... As I had wailed to Him in my thoughts ("What on earth am I doin here?!"), in the course of our conversation, He said that regardless of the "flavor" of a Filipino person's being Christian: Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, Pentecostal, and even Filipino Jews, HE IS REMAINING IN OUR COUNTRY!!! Because we love and honor HIM!!! Isn't that amazing?!

What's more amazing is that Cindy Jacobs' prophecy is also saying the same thing. Hey, it was just a date between God and me, but He's saying the same thing to me, as He announced via Cindy Jacobs.

And you know what, YOU COULD HEAR HIM TOO.

Seek Him, and you shall find Him.

And with that, without further ado, I bring you Cindy Jacobs' Jesus Rev Prophecy, God's promises for the Philippines.

PROPHECY FOR THE PHILIPPINES
--Cindy Jacobs

The Lord would say to the Philippines -I am shaking everything that can be shaken so that no man can glory in what I will do. For I have waited for a generation that I could raise up a purity and a holiness in. And I am raising up firebrands!

There is a forerunner anointing coming upon the youth of the Philippines that will prepare the way of the Lord, even into the Middle East. Look and see what I will do in Mindanao. For I am going to visit in a way that you cannot imagine! I am coming to Mindanao, says the Lord, as God and the Lord of Hosts, and I am going to start appearing. As a sign that I am going to truly change the nation, I am going to show myself to the guerilla leaders. I am going to come, says the Lord, and I am going to begin at the places in the Philippines that have been the bloodiest; the places where the guerillas' insurrection have been the strongest. And I am going to come with signs and wonders and miracles! I am getting ready to pour out a miracle anointing upon the Philippines such as the earth has never seen! For Indonesia, they had a mighty rushing wind. But in the Philippines they will have the fire from heaven that will begin to fall! And this will be a purging fire! And I will say, I will visit even as if in a day, says God. Do not think that I am not able to come in a day and begin to unravel the iniquities of the nation, says the Lord!

I am going to visit the military. I am getting ready to come among the young in the military. And the Lord says, there's going to be a revolution of righteousness that comes within the military.

I'm getting ready to dethrone everything that needs to be dethroned, for even the bowls of heaven are full. Oh, I see the bowls in heaven are just getting ready to be tipped over the Philippines and I am going to spill out my glory!

And the Lord says, I will remove the shame that Satan has tried to put upon this nation! And the Lord says, look and see, for even the blood of the martyrs cries out from Saudi Arabia! The blood of the martyrs cries out from those Islamic nations, and my Filipino people that have laid their lives down. Do not think I haven't seen it! Do not think I am looking away! Do not think I do not see you! Do not think I do not see you, Philippines; for I see you! You are the apple of my eye! You are a treasure unto me!

This is the day and this is the hour when I begin to change everything, says the Lord! I'm going to change the judicial system. I'm going to dethrone corrupt judges. I'm getting ready to deal with the police force. I'm going to expose, expose, expose, expose!

And the Lord says, look and see what I will do! For I will open up my treasure chest from the Philippines! And I am going to release finances for the Philippines that will surprise and shake even Hongkong! For I am getting ready to move a distribution of wealth, says God. And I am getting ready to open the oil! I am getting ready to open that which is in the ocean! I'm getting ready to bring forth a revolution even in the economic systems, in the finance systems!

Look to the university in Manila, says God. For I am going to bring a revival that the-Oh my Lord!--- the Lord says, not hundreds, but thousands and thousands and thousands are going to get saved!! The Lord says, can I touch a whole university? Yes I can touch a whole university! I can come with my glory and I can come with my power in ways that you cannot imagine! For I am coming, says God! I am coming and I will remain, says the Lord!

That's What Friends Are For

2008-11-26T23:05:00.001+08:00

After working grueling and crazy 14 to 16-hour workdays in the weeks past, and not really accomplishing much because of the extreme stress I was experiencing, I finally decided to take a break last Sunday, November 23. Thankfully, great best budz Monalisa and Kitchie were kind enough to give in to my request of a hang-out in UP Diliman and have lunch at Mang Jimmy's, a famed favorite hangout in UP, famous for the amazing Sisig, and other cheap, but great-tasting food.

After going to Mass (it was an educational experience, setting foot in a Catholic Mass once more. :p), we promptly headed on to the Shopping Center in order to get batteries for Lis' camera. Alas, and alack, we were out of luck for the cam (ehem; pardon the rhyme)... BUT... We found...

Inggat!!!

Thanks to Inggat, we were able to find Mang Jimmy's much faster than if we just bumped around on UP's sprawling campus. I fully admit, that had Inggat not been providently placed across our paths, my best friends Lis and Kitch would now be my worst enemies, coz I hadn't gone to Mang Jimmy's on my own before, ever. Especially since Lis was way hungry by then. Heheh. :D

Inggat was a wonderful Tau addition to our all-Grav company of three. With her around, the laughters were more gleeful, and the meal in Mang Jimmy's, buttery pusit and bangus, amazing Sisig and Tapa Mix, were all the more delectable.

Mang Jimmy's is almost like a hole-in-the wall resto. The food, especially the Sisig and Tapa Mix, were more than worth their price tag. And though the seafoods' sauce was much too salty for me, the taste was passable.

If you're looking for a decent restaurant with decent surroundings, don't expect it from Mang Jimmy's. The rugged Carinderia-like environment is part of Mang Jimmy's charm. Though I'm a Sisig Hooray fan forever, if you want a calm meal with friends, family, or a special someone, and Sinful SISIG, Mang Jimmy's is the place to go to. Their Sisig is among the best I've tasted; next to Sisig Hooray, I think Mang Jimmy's ties with Iloilo's Breakthrough's Sisig, in my list. :p

To get there, you have to pass by a side road off of Vinzon's hall, Shuster Street. Go straight, cross the main road of Katipunan, go inside the gated path leading to a park/reservoir, where a Manila Water building greets you, head straight, turn towards the left road from the junction, and there's a Mang Jimmy's sign that indicates that you're there already.

I recalled Shuster street, because I was blabbering on like the Energizer Bunny who had a bad case of talkativeness mixed in with the lethal combination of not having seen another being of its kind in ages, and Lis was telling me to "Shush," and we found "Shuster Street." Heheh. :p Good for y'all who want to get to Mang Jimmy's. At least here are more specific directions now. :p

It's really just a residential place that was converted to a resto.

After the meal filled with laughter, we left Mang Jimmy's giggling about a woman who looked eerily like Michael V. (eek). Then we went to take pictures on UP's grounds, had more laughs, bade goodbye to Inggat, and under compulsion, I went with Lis and Kitch to Megamall. I figured it was time to see my Victory Pioneer fam again anyway. :p

I then spent the afternoon with Lis around a Megamall bazaar, then going to church in Victory Pioneer, and coming home at past midnight coz the pplz were so fun and I missed them much. :p Thanx Ate Sam, Ate Ming, Beda, Mary, Keith and the new guy kabarkadas that I've met that night!

Moral of the story: Don't work too hard, make sure Sundays are enjoyable SABBATHS, and give priority to relationships. Money could only give you so much. In fact, it gives more headache than anything. :p

From that point on, I made a decision to have low-tech Sundays: only my iPod and cellphone are allowed for a few hours (Gawrsh. I need rehab for blogging/the Internets. :p), then I'd just have fun all Sunday long. NO WORK FOR 24 HOURS!!! (Unless "work" means just blogging. :p)

I guess this means one thing. I have to make it a point to touch base with people that I love, on the real-interaction realm, at least once a week. Whether it's just in UP Diliman, or I find myself in Victory Pioneer again, I should make it a priority to keep the relationships in my life alive.

I'm not yet ready to go home to Iloilo, that's for sure, but I'm now making it a point to make sure that my life isn't all about acquiring money. It should be more about enriching my relationships.

I hope I get it right this time.

Insight: On Life And Pimples

2008-11-26T06:23:00.000+08:00

Just so I have a "patent" on this thought:

When God tries to leach issues out of us, it could be likened to trying to press pus out of a pimple...

And the more impacted the pimple, the more painful it is to press pus out of it; but there is greater relief that is experienced the moment pus DOES get popped out.

Heheh. Lorie's Gross Philosophy in its finest.

My Pisay Journey Part 2: The Cosmic Denouement

2008-11-23T00:37:00.001+08:00

I had been inspired to write the previous blog entry because I had been thinking about Reinabelle Reyes for two nights now. When I had asked Lis, coz she was friends with a Pisay Dil batchmate (whom I never got to meet) about Reina, I decided to Google "Reinabelle Reyes" in order to find out what she was up to nowadays.

I was happily surprised to know that she made world news, as she and her team in Princeton discovered how common Quasars are.

Though, in my journey as a Christian, I had sworn off planetary sciences because people are more important than stars, something, in one of my visions, had been related to black holes. And seeing that MY BATCHMATE, MY BATCH'S VALEDICTORIAN actually discovered and understood how common Quasars are, and gave a new level of understanding as to how black holes operate, I... Was mutedly shocked... And though not totally surprised, coz I already had clues about finding out, because I had impressions of Reina and I had that vision with the "stellar" significance I was... Bowled over with the fact that God had used a batchmate of mine, someone in close proximity in my history of people I've come into close contact with, to confirm that vision.

After that mild shock, I was happily distracted with talking to Derek, talking to Lis, writing the other blog post, Talking to Gigi, and now I'm here, letting you know that hey, a Pisay scholar discovered Something Significant in Astronomy! One more reason to keep the Pisay budget alive, Philippine Government! See, there is fruit to the crazy Imeldific legislation, after all!

I am proud of Reinabelle Reyes-Coronado. I am happy that she had put our country on the Worlwide Map. I am happy that she gives our Senate one more reason to keep Pisay alive.

She and Ma'am Josette Biyo are beautiful stars in the annals of fame in Pisay. I would like to give them honor and I would like to give God praise for putting women who blazed trails for Philippines and Pisay.

Who would have known that mysterious, introverted, thought-immersed Reina would someday do this? Who would have known that quirky, funny Ma'am Biyo (with whom I've had only one close encounter with, but it gave me a good glimpse into what a fun person she actually is) would someday have a PLANET named after her? No one but God. :D

I am glad to be part of the school that gave birth to great men and women. I am glad to be part of a family who, above the intellectualism and whatever, continue to go back to the one thing that matters in being in Pisay: EXCELLENCE.

Reina, thank you for being. Thank you for your humble pursuit of excellence. Congratulations for this feat, and may God bless you, keep your marriage in the palm of His hands, and keep your heart afire for excellence, and your passion for scholarship..

He did say in Daniel:

Daniel 2:20-21 (New International Version) “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.

Daniel 2:20-21 (New Living Translation)

“Praise the name of God forever and ever, for he has all wisdom and power. He controls the course of world events; he removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars.

Daniel 2:20-21 (New American Standard Bible)

Daniel said, "Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever, for wisdom and power belong to Him. "It is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings; He gives wisdom to wise men and knowledge to men of understanding."

Daniel 12:3 (NIV) Those who are wise [Or who impart wisdom] will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.

Again, congrats, Reina, and may you be gifted with more wisdom, understanding, and a greater appreciation for the God who created this universe!

My Pisay Journey Part 1: The Rough Road to Healing

2008-11-23T00:33:00.000+08:00

For those of you who never knew, I am from Pisay. It is the Philippines' premier high school, and we get paid to break our brains.

I broke my brain and my heart in Pisay. So many things happened to me that the pain still echoes dimly. If ever there was a part of my heart that had had an open door to rejection, it was increased in Pisay Diliman; because Manila high schools had a social structure much like the Heathers. Pisay was a milder version, because we were preoccupied with remaining in school; if we had grades lower than 2.5 or around 75% to 80%, we were in danger of being hauled off to the Guidance Office.

Pisay broke my ego; as a young achiever in elementary, I was hailed as a "genius" by my classmates in SPED. It was already a a school for fast-learning children, but for the first few years of my life there, I never left the top 3. I was even #1 for the first two years.

And even as I plummeted from #1 to #7, graduating 5th Honorable Mention (#7, coz you still need to count the Valedictorian, Salutatorian, then go to 1st to whatever Honorable Mention), my classmates and their parents still hailed me as the smartest kid on the block...

But Pisay broke my ego.

When I was swimming in the pool of the Philippines' intellectual crèmè de la crèmè, I lost my identity as "the smartest one"... For how could you stand out from the crowd of "the best"?? I lost a sense of who I was, among people hailed to be better than I am.

Among future scientists, doctors, physicists, top vets, I was just me, manic-depressive Lorie, who slept in Physics Lab floors and Earth Sci class, on top of the counters and tables, as my teachers droned on and on.

I loved the sciences as a child. I was 8 when I got my first microscope and I loved looking at pretty slides of microscopic flowers and... Pond water. I loved decapitating ants and squishing roaches. I wouldn't touch lizards nor rats though. Anything that looked like it had a brain is off-limits to me. I killed all insects I came across, and played with their poor bodies to death, save for spiders. I felt like they had brains too. I'd torture Daddy Longlegs, though. I'd split their bodies apart and let them walk on just a leg or two.

I'd read my Grade 4 science books and be able to recite pages from memory. I won a class contest, Boys vs. Girls, single-handedly, on the Skeletal system, with minimal participation from my teammates.

That incident sparked the Boys to study harder and cream us all, when I got cocky on the Muscular System.. Hey, as far as I'm concerned, the Gluteus Maximus is the only memorable muscle. Pardon the Freudianity of it all.

Then came high school. All the flurry of geniuses, teachers that didn't know what on earth they were teaching, teachers that KNEW what they were teaching (Thanks Sir Bimbo Marte! Thanks Ma'am Arre!), lessons that broke my brain, realizing that I am "not good enough" to be a part of this lot of gifted people...

It got me lost.

No more the identity of being the best. No more the understanding that I am special. I was just pathetic obese ol me who could not survive Biology or CHEM.

So after a year of sleeping in classes, on countertops, and on Physics lab floors, I went home to Iloilo.

Pisay Iloilo gave me the acceptance I needed. From the hostile "Heathers" like milieu in Pisay Dil, I got the family I needed in Pisay.

Incidents like my mom rushing to give me my lab coat amidst our incessant fights, hours of counseling with my Chem teachers (Thanks Ma'am Paciente!), mercy from Sir Ongcol for finally letting me pass Chem in order to graduate, getting that first flat 1.0 on an essay on the Jewish Holocaust from Sir Cerbo, being mentored by Ma'am YZ, Sir Barre and Sir Siena, hours of talking with Ma'am Val Gerochi, Ma'am Eileen Ocampo, challenging Ma'am Barlas as to the importance of stupid Algebra and Trigonometry (Then realizing today that I can apply Calculus' concepts of permutations and Algebra's one to one correspondence.. Or is it Geometry? In my job in WRITING for a certain software...), the three Filipino Beauties: Ma'am Sunico, Ma'am Silario, Ma'am Sinfuego, Ma'am Guiloreza with whom I share my faith in God, Sir Cario who taught me that I could be good in Turbo Pascal after all, Sir Quiros, who tutored me for a while, Sir Redoblo, whose guts I hated (haha we can laugh at this now, Sir, when you read this, if ever, hahaha!), hours hanging out in "Tita Becky" (Director Rebecca Yandog)'s office, Sir Lando Libutaque and Sir Pacaco of hated and dreaded P.E. (but I loved Health class. :p), Ma'am Cuenca, Ma'am Mena-Navarro, Ma'am Magno, Sir Cadornigara (whose beautiful shiny head is sooo memorable), Sir Olvido (Who thought I'd join Greenpeace; nu-uuuh! BTW, that talk with your bro is probably one of the most memorable moments in my existence.), Sir Almero, Ma'am Salinel... You guys really made me feel loved, despite my messiness.

One conversation with Ma'am Salinel was very healing for me: she told me that she was warned by my other teachers about me: I was demanding and I was sooo hungry for knowledge, but hard to please; but whose comment that I was actually a nice student really helped me understand that my teachers actually thought highly of me...

These people in Pisay Iloilo helped me understand who I was more; they helped me feel accepted. And while I still go blank at the thought of possibly needing to study the Periodic Table of Elements in the future, knowing how to comprehend HTML and CSS now gives me confidence that I can "do all things through Christ who strenghtens me."

Pisay Dil, despite the fact that the only memories that remain are those of my classmates in Diamond, some of my dormmates, the ACTS facilitators and Ma'am Taruc, who was a gentle presence in the dorm, the quirky teachers, the mataray but lovable dorm manager Ma'am Daniel, and her motherly co-manager (I forgot the name), Computron and Sacha Chua, the beautiful Saturday afternoons in the campus, as well as the misadventures, will always be a major part of my growth. Even through the pain and angst of adolescence, the rude awakening to social systems that were hostile to my sensitive heart, these memories remain poignant and fond. Pisay will always be a part of my makeup.

Pisay Iloilo is always going to be my family. With Graviton being so bonded because we were driven to excel in the class plays we presented, with the fact that we were constantly told that we are so-united that we needed to resort to having that "lunch buddy" program... Look where we are now, guys! We're one big happy family with our own reunions! There is mutual respect and love. And we... Beat what they said about us. We are still here. We are still going strong. And we are the bestest buddies of each other!!!

And lastly, it's funny how God orchestrates families. I never knew it would be so uncanny as the way He created this... But my bestest bestest buddy, my best friend non-parallèle, is.......

FROM PISAY.

Throughout the angst, the pain, and everything, I now understand that it wasn't Pisay which brought me pain; Pisay was a place that God had brought me to, in order to experience a lot of things; be taught a lot of lessons, and understand one thing: Love knows no boundaries. It is not bounded by negative things said to us, in terms of Graviton being blahblahblah. Love is not bounded by the evil experiences we had gone through. Love is not bounded by the things we needed to overcome. It is not bounded by batches, by campuses, God brings people together in order to love Him and love each other anyway.

Diamond 01 people, thank you. Your acceptance has really helped me overcome some things I had gone through. Thank you that despite my messiness, I was, and still am, a friend to some. Thank you also to those I had befriended apart from Diamond: to Jaja Campos, with whom I had shared a lot, including hosting, and my first shot at an online presence, haha! To Connet, now a comrade in the work-at-home biz, to Celina (Papic), Michelle, and Reina, whose excellence inspired me... To Derek, for your forgiveness and friendship; for caring. To MK, Michelle and Rachel, who were good roommates to me, and to KC, who has forgiven me despite the fact that I was mean to her.

And mostly, I am thankful for Vanek. For that moment in a coffee house in UPLB. For stepping out in faith and inviting me to Victory UPLB. Without you, I won't be standing here today, poised to go to church to Victory QC tomorrow. I would like to give you my profuse thanks, and the honor that you deserve as the woman who helped close the deal in my journey to God's arms.

I am thankful I have my Graviton family, from whence my bestest friends come. I am thankful for Jaja, for bringing us together via Grav Yahoo Groups... I am thankful for Kitchie and Monalisa, who provide instant company and instant sanity-in-a-box in this Anomic metro, I am thankful for Pam, who is lost in all the crazy med work. I am thankful for Thessa, who taught me that friendships could happen between "the weird girl" and the "popular girl". For Hedy, who taught me that I could still be forgiven. For the people I have not named, who had been a source of friendship nonetheless.. For Rafi, who was instrumental in letting me get published in Central Echo and in securing my partnership with Shelly. For Ervin, who took a chance in trusting me; thank you for the respect and the trust. You are a cherished presence in my life. And for Paula, who taught me the value of loving a person despite her PMS... And mine. :p

Thank you all, for passing through my life, and thank you more for those who remain.

But most of all, I am thankful for Gigi, whose presence in my life was sanity-inducing, despite what we had individually gone through.

Even through the miles, even through what we had to overcome, even through the obstacles that kept us from being nice to each other at times, thank you for loving me with whatever you could manage before. Thank you for the better-than-buttercaramel-ice-cream moment over Skype today. It sure healed me.

This is my Pisay story. From pain and angst, from the journey of losing my so-called identity as the so-called "smart girl," from finding, losing and finding the love of learning once more, my Pisay experience gifted with a big basket of love and happy people who love me and I have a chance to love. For friendships that lasted, even through discouragements. For friendships that go beyond the hair and skin care advice; for spiritual sisterhood that has lasted through turmoil and strife... And journeyed on to healing.

I praise God for using my educational heritage and weaving it to become part of my spiritual heritage...

And hey, Jaja and Gigi just told me that it's Thanksgiving next week. This is pretty timely, then. :D Thanks, everyone! I love you all!!!

I dreamed...

2008-11-20T11:25:00.000+08:00

...About WORK.

I wonder what that says about who I am right now?

What Amazes Me (Fritzl Case Follow Up 2)

2008-11-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

'He is the killer of my son.'

That was how Elizabeth Fritzl described her father, who had raped and kept her captive for 24 years. This manner of describing the man who had given her personal torment for two whole decades and then some, is a stark message to me. This woman no longer thought about her own torment; she was more concerned about the fact that this evil man killed her own child... And his.

I also found it remarkable that she apparently loves her children, as the previous article I posted had testified. For a rape victim to love her own children, this is a miracle. For an incest/captivity victim, I am bowled over.

She gave birth to her children all unaided. That she finally decided to just be meek and go through the abuse is beyond me.

I don't know what God was trying to communicate to us via allowing this, but if He could show beauty via the Holocaust, the glory of how He rescues despite allowing, even ordaining this degree of evil, He surely could create a redemptive story out of this... Evil.

I pray that Elizabeth, especially her mother Rosemary, and her children, would heal from all of this. I pray that God would give Fritzl time to understand his sins. And even if God would give him mercy, I pray that he still reaps the extreme consequences of the evil he agreed with.

Lord, please keep Elizabeth, her mom and kids, to grow increasingly in victory and in knowledge of You. Heal them completely, in Jesus' name.

If this ain't OVERCOMING, I dunno what is! (Fritzl Case Follow-Up)

2008-11-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

Remember the sick news that we learned months ago, when an Austrian man was found out to have locked his daughter for decades and was found to have SIX children with her?!

Well, I've told God that I wanted to follow up that story months from then and learn of what motivated Fritzl to do what he did.

I found out in here. I learned that he was abused as a child by his mother. His mother called him names, like telling him he was "Satan," and a good for nothing. As he grew up, he was being beaten until he bled. And in the end, when he was already capable of torment, he locked his mom up in the top room of his house, bricked the window, and for the rest of her life, she ever saw the light of day again.

If you think that he transferred his hatred of his mom to his daughter, he did not. He simply got enamored with the way she looked.

In an interview in the series of links I have below, he declared that he just saw his daughter as "his wife and partner."

UGH.

He also declared that he was "born to be a rapist."

He actually dressed up whenever he went down to his daughter, in the dungeon that he had forced her to build. With her hands.

How could a brilliant mind, which had been capable of devising an electric door and other gizmos and contraptions be so attuned to evil, that he believes his only purpose in life was to rape hapless women?

And the only reason why he finally let Elizabeth go out was that she had prematurely aged already (What do you expect, genius, no oxygen! PLUS, you were committing incest, right? So you actually thought a woman would remain beautiful even though sheer evil is being forced on her?! Garrrrrh! No words cannot express!), and may have kept his interests no longer.

Words cannot express. Words cannot express. Words cannot express the derision I feel for him. I wish I could personally use a shaving razor to cut little sections of his flesh while he's fully conscious. Then I'll squeeze lemon juice on those wounds. Then I'll sprinkle salt on the raw flesh. I'll space my cuts 1 inch apart, all throughout his body. Then I'll boil him in oil. Then I'll bake him in burning sulfur.

I certainly hope that there would be no space in God's merciful heart for him. But as far as I know God, sometimes, He still forgives repentant mass killers. Like Paul.

But if there's anything that gives me enormous relief in this story is the story I share below. Elizabeth and her children are now enjoying life playing. They have tough times ahead of them, especially Elizabeth, but apparently, she had good company in the cellar.

Because as they left the dungeon/house, Elizabeth's son Felix, when he first saw the moon, asked, "Is that God up there?"

I believe that despite the twisted circumstances, Elizabeth taught her children about God, because how could the captive boy ask about someOne he didn't know of?

And according to this story, Elizabeth is continuing to teach her children about the beauty of life.

I believe that when Elizabeth finally got a breath of fresh air, after 24 years of captivity, she also understood, without a doubt that there IS a God.

This article below may well be the strongest testament to that.

Austrian sex dungeon victim Elisabeth Fritzl is 'teaching her children how to play'

Incest victim Elisabeth Fritzl is teaching her children to how to play after they spent their entire lives imprisoned in their underground dungeon.

Psychiatrists found Elisabeth's three 'cellar children' had no concept of 'play' after a lifetime spent in the cell constructed by their sick father.

So brave Elisabeth is showing them how to swim, run and even rollerblade, hospital staff revealed today.

And her son Stefan has been so overwhelmed by the natural world that he wants to become a gardener, explained one of his police bodyguards.

Elisabeth spent 24 years in the dungeon in Amstetten, Austria, where she was repeatedly raped by her evil father Josef Fritzl, who fathered seven children, one of whom died days after birth, with her.

Three were taken to live upstairs with him while the others - Felix, five, Kerstin, 19, and Stefan, 18 - were condemned to a life in their mother's cell.

Now Elisabeth is teaching them how to do all the things normal children take for granted as they live together in a specially adapted villa in the grounds of a psychiatric hospital.

One of the family's police bodyguards revealed how Stefan would simply stop and stare at trees when he saw them for the first time.

'I remember when we went for a walk on the clinic premises for the first time.

'When Stefan stood under the massive trees there, he looked up into the treetops and said he wants to become a gardener.

'He was simply so fascinated by them and could not believe how huge they grew.

'He was fascinated by the fact that the branches loom so high in the air,' one of their protection team Franz Prankl told Austrian media.

And Elisabeth often startles patients and staff at the clinic when she races around the grounds with her children on rollerblade skates.
Fritzl

Monster: Josef Fritzl was the father of Elisabeth's seven children

Hospital official Fritz Lengauer told Austrian media: 'She does a lot of inline skating and they're always overtaking people walking in the grounds and they usually have no idea who they are.'

Passers-by at the family's villa say they can hear the sound of children laughing and screaming with delight as they play together.

'It lifts your heart to hear these children playing and having so much fun after such a sad start in life. Their mother is a miracle worker.

'You can hear them splashing and just screaming their heads off at the thrill of being outside,' said one.

Bodyguard Prankl said Elisabeth's courage has been passed on to all her children.

'I always asked myself how she can be so strong. Where does she get this energy which gets carried over to the children?

'I think Elisabeth was always sure she would be released from her torture imprisonment one day.'

Miracles happen every day. :)

Slow Fade by Casting Crowns

2008-11-11T13:53:00.000+08:00

"Slow Fade"

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Saw this from Gigi's Friendster, and I thought to repost... I believe that we are in a season when fathers return to their families and husbands and wives understand what is more important. If there's anything that ripped the fabric of America's society apart, it's the permissiveness with which they had allowed godless thinking to pervade their shores.

On one hand, it seems like they have it all bad, on the other hand, here in our shores we also battle a different enemy: religiosity. We tend to embrace dogma over the heart of what Jesus preaches... I'm guilty of legalism myself, and it's a daily battle and submission to the Lord of my heart.

I choose sanity. I choose to be faithful to Him, and to the one I had given my human heart to. I choose to submit my relationships to Him and to ask Him to fool-proof these and to keep these in the palm of His hands. I choose to trust: to see things as He sees them, and to keep believing that I see Him because my heart had been purified, and He finds me blameless.

I choose to listen to the voice of my Shepherd, and not the voice of the crowd (Matthew 9:25), I choose to not allow myself to be condemned, because my Father in heaven has said: "Has anyone condemned you? Go and sin no more."

I may stumble, I may fall, but I will not be moved, because the Man/God who is more than a Good Samaritan keeps picking me up. I am thankful for His grace in my life. I am thankful that He keeps His promises. I am thankful that He is called Faithful and True. :)

He is the Love of my life, my GOD, my Savior, my Jesus Christ.

Update: Love Letter to God and A Quotable Quote

2008-11-10T12:29:00.000+08:00

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure,what itis?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

Are you asleep, son?' He asked..

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

I just wanted to share this with you. This is from Kuya Elim Garak. I've read this before, and I may have reposted this, but still, it's an apt story for my season of late. :D

To me, this is a reminder that I should spend time with Dad... God... And play. I've worked so hard lately that it took me around over 1 week of stressed-rest, and 3 days serious rest, and some serious personal reorganizing.

Dad, remind me never to miss out on my "fun hours"... It's fun reading the Bible with You beside me, sharing my seat.. It's fun learning new things with You around.. It's fun knowing that I always have You around to be with me and guide me, and to help me deal with my temper when the crowd's voices just drown out Yours.. (Matthew 9:25)

Dad, thank You that you are not a no-fun God who is "All work and no play"... Thank You that You are a God who cares about my sanity as well. Thank You that you are a God who gives me vacations, and who gives me happy treats...

Thank you that your discipline is comforting and directive: that even though the correction is stern, your children do not bleed from your Rod. In fact, these comfort us and grow us up to the people you've intended for us to be.

Thank you that your Voice and wisdom are pure. Thank you that you even pay me for the time I spend with you...

I love you lots, Lord. :D

--Lorie

P.S. Quotable quote from Gigi:

"You remind me that I still have a heart... And I remind you that you still have a brain."

Reaction From Gigi Re: The Todd Bentley Fiasco

2008-10-25T04:17:00.000+08:00

I've been depressed for the past 24 hours of my life, for some reasons that I still cannot define. But right after I read this, and Gigi called my attention to her comment on my other post on this 'series,' "A Dose Of My Own Barbs," I felt a bit of release, vindication, if you will, about the matter of what we've been wasting pixels of letters on...

There you have it. Straight from a woman who's met Todd Bentley. I rest my case.

vjamelarin wrote on Oct 24

Lorie, I never have written in reply to your posts. This time though I will put my two cents' worth in. I'm peeking at your can of worms. =) Having met Todd Bentley in person (albeit briefly) and actually seeing him in action, I can assure you of his gifts as being from GOD (some of it, anyway).

BUT.

The gifts of the SPIRIT & the fruit of the SPIRIT are different. Being sufficiently renewed in the mind through the washing of the WORD - this he may have lacked. He is a believer who shot up into prominence & power without sufficient grounding and accountability to keep him in line & stable. " Be careful when you stand lest you fall..."

A person's spiritual gifts means squat when we talk about truth & lies. GOD's gifts are irrevocable and unfortunately, the devil can use them through us when we allow him to. However, we can choose what we use them for & how we use them. We can deceive & destroy or operate in truth & bring life.

This fiasco has revealed two things - that Bentley had lacked the character & truth to contain what was given to him, and, how sad it is that some Christians will gobble up almost anything without discerning rightly. Because of the dearth of GOD's power & holiness as exhibited in many of our personal lives, demonstrations of power can be very appealing. On the other hand, others will go to the other extreme of shunning everything they do not understand because it is "from the devil".

His fall also serves as a warning to all of us, especially to prideful people who think that they are always right regarding their opinions of spiritual matters, who see other peoples' motes but not the planks in their own eyes. Hypocrites - that's what the LORD calls them. We have to test ourselves always to see if we are in truth.

FYI for all of us... It is actually possible not to have an opinion regarding things we don't necessarily understand. Also, GOD is always in control, even when it appears that the devil seems to be having a heyday.

We are not always right, only GOD is able to do that. Not matter how much of the Bible we know, we do not know everything nor understand everything. Let us not think more highly of ourselves than we ought to.

Let us remember that we can & should reject unscriptural teaching but we should not reject the man teaching it. He is NOT the enemy.

We are called to be humble, not to judge others yet to shun evil. We are called to love, not to join the devil in skewering a man who, in spite of his sin (don't we ALL sin?), is somebody who Jesus died for too (false prophet or not).

It is our choice when we decide to join hands with evil & destroy for the sake of "righteousness" as the Pharisees have done in the past. We are called to restore men from sin (in this I thank Rick Joyner), to build up and not tear down.

If anybody says that he was never a Christian - How do they know that?
Has GOD made them judges of men's hearts already?

Please, let us not hand Todd Bentley over to the devil in a silver platter. In spite of everything, he has been and still is our brother. After all, we would like the same to be done for us when we stumble & fall.

JESUS said that we shall be known as HIS because of our love for one another. HE didn't say that it is by our truth. Not to belittle truth in any way but just to remind us that even truth means nothing if there is no love. They have to go together.

Love truth & love the man but hate the sin.

GOD bless all of you...

F.Y.I.

Gigi is a member of Vineyard Cincinnati, the church headed by Bob Sjogren, writer of Cat And Dog Theology. She is an active member of the Intercessory Team, and while she doesn't care for titles, and she cares more for the love of God and of people's character, the credentials I mentioned ought to tell you of what stuff she's made of.

She used to go to church in Victory Iloilo, and she also attended Alliance in her hometown in Pagadian City, Zamboanga del Sur. She is no stranger to prophecy, and neither is she a stranger to controversy. Her life is a testimony of God's redemptive power, God's redemption, and His extreme mercy and grace. She knows what it feels like to have fallen, and she knows how sweet it is to be restored to Jesus. I personally have avoided the biggest temptations that could have rendered me irrestorable for decades, thanks to the mistakes she's fallen into and gotten up from. For a big part of my own healing, restoration, and protection and learnings, I give God credit for using her.

Yes, she called my attention to the way I worded my previous posts. It's too late to recant and edit it, but I truly admit that I was too red-in-the face and too extreme in my wording. Thankfully, hers is a more level-headed and more true-to-life account of who Todd Bentley is. According to her, in our conversation over the phone, "I don't care if Todd Bentley committed murder, since I know that he is a brother, it is my duty to protect him."

I second that. Again, it's not the human being who is our enemy. And our weapons ought not to be the barbs of accusation and criticism. Rather, we were called to use the godly weapons of love, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness and goodness.. and all the other fruits of the spirit.

I pray that you'll finally understand where I was coming from. And that it'll hit you that it's actually those critical radio pastors whom you need to be wary of.

I maintain the position that I am tabula rasa/neutral regarding the phenomena that they experience in the United States. Until Jesus comes to clear things, I maintain the attitude to suspend judgment until I've experienced these things I don't understand myself.

God bless your weekend, friends!

Todd Bentley: Clarifications

2008-10-20T10:01:00.000+08:00

I was wondering why so many people had reacted to the matter on Todd Bentley. I think that was a rather impassioned post that had been more seeing-red than logical. So here are a couple of points I'd like to stress, before my comments reach to heaven... Or hell. :p

1. I do not believe in NEVER questioning TEACHINGS. In the previous post, I never mentioned anything about TEACHINGS... I only talked about the lynch mob against the PERSON of the pastor.

As regards how to treat teachings, I personally question the existence of the angel "Emma," and I'm still neutral about the issue. I'll allow God to shape my opinions about that as the days go by. As far as I'm concerned, there really are no female angels in the Bible, and I'm rather distrustful of female spirits, especially if they tend to call attention to themselves. My personal opinion is that this surely reminds me of the Marian apparitions in the past.

Whether the Marian apparitions are the counterfeit and this is the real thing, or satan has evolved his strategy and permutated it to the Charismatic/Pentecostal paradigm, is not really something I want to preoccupy my brain cells with, at the moment.

2. As regards questions of doctrine regarding strange spiritual phenomena, all I know is that if the fruit is ugly, like idolatry, or the focus is on us, on the entity, and doesn't glorify God at all, it's definitely not of God.

Regarding angelic activity of late, I know that the time is ripe. God is coming soon, and I'm not surprised about the increased spiritual activity. I have not reached to a full conclusion of the matter of the Angel Emma yet, and I don't want to bother about it. But I do know, that this video stirs some questions.

On one hand, they do give the glory back to God. The worship is back to God. And this seems to me like a reminder of Revelation 21.

On the other hand, these things are never recorded before, and Jesus did say that angels do not marry in Heaven. Whether they are gender-less or restricted to the male gender is beyond our knowledge, as of the moment.

3. I do not promote a sheepish all-embracing attitude. But neither do I promote a too-critical and too-judgmental approach to matters like revivals and the spiritual realm, as well as prophecy. I would rather that the person would talk to God himself, and examine the truth himself.

Use logic, use anecdotal evidence, use research. But remember that with God, the only currency revolves around FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE. Skepticism wasn't in His vocabulary, even.

4. There is one trick to discerning what is of God and not: you will know the source by its fruit.

If the focus deflects from God, if the focus shifts from worshiping JESUS and The Father, and turns the focus of worship to the angel, or the prophet, then it's not of God.

If the healings are counterfeit and are not long-lasting and results in further trouble, it's not of God.

If the teaching results in confusion, it's not of God.

If the Word/rebuke/exhortation/encouragement encourages arrogance/anger/rebellion or anything else negative, it's definitely NOT of God.

If the teaching/voice in your head urges or encourages you to sin against God, of course, it's NOT of Him..

If the result is of a Martha-like attitude, wherein you need to do more to prove you are of worth, it's not of God.

5. The bottom line really is to take all questions to God. The Holy Spirit and the Word will show you into all truth and knowledge. Guard your quiet time and your walk with Jesus with a tenacity unlike any other. Mind your own walk, NOT other people's. Be careful lest you fall.

I encourage independent thought. I would rather that people researched on these matters on their own than to get it from me. I encourage that people bump into truth in their own way, at their own pace, in their own time. NOT this way, wherein they need someone else to teach them how to swallow their food.

I encourage making mistakes, and I encourage giving each other mercy to the extreme. I encourage people to allow for others to make mistakes, and to forgive themselves and others every time they, or someone else who's a Christian, falls into sin or error...

***

I srsly don't know why y'allz reacted so severely to my previous post, but I just know that YOU should be more responsible for YOUR OWN walk. Mind your own business regarding others' mistakes, and if you are so affected and grieved, go ask God. Don't look to other people for your answers. It's more painful to everyone else involved, as well as for the rest of the Body of Christ, when discord and chaos result from conflicting opinions of church leaders.

Go talk to God on your own, and ask Him all your deepest, most pressing questions. Only HE can satisfy all your deepest questions.

And for all else. Matters like these really should't occupy your brains and mine too much. FOCUS on what you need to do at the moment!

And with that, here's hoping everything's clear now. If not, post your questions, else PM me. :p

On Todd Bentley

2008-10-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

I happened by two blogs regarding the Todd Bentley issue earlier today, 10/16/08, and I'm truly disappointed in Christians.

I was initially disappointed when some people from my current church had denounced Todd Bentley and lynched him for committing adultery.

I am currently fed up with all the talk flying about him, so I'm posting my manifesto once and for all.

If we care enough about the people around us, we pray for them and we restore them when they do wrong, right? We restore them lovingly, right?

Todd Bentley, had he been your friend, would have needed restoration, caring, love and understanding. Instead of slicing him to bits via shredding him through gossip and statements of "that serves him right!" you could have said a silent prayer and moved on.

How would you like it, if, you were the prophet, and in the thickness of satan's temptations and attacks on you, you fell into severe sin because the headiness of your own achievements and the power with which God had rewarded you with actually rendered you a little too drunk in the spirit that blinders had fallen upon your eyes.

Ohoo, don't think you're impervious to pride! Don't think you're so right all the time that you will leave no room for other people's errors!

I battle with pride on a daily basis, and these are just "secular," non-churchy, non-spiritual achievements! It takes a loss or two for me to understand that this is God's way of anchoring me, as opposed to flying off in self-deception!

Understand satan's schemes: he aims to steal, kill and destroy. He aims to strike the shepherd so the sheep scatter. And who are our temporary shepherds until the Bridegroom comes?! OUR PASTORS! So when a pastor like Todd Bentley is struck down, who are you to kick a reeling man?!

Understand satan's schemes: rebellion for the sheep, control for the shepherd, immorality for the unbeliever, love of money for the achiever, division among human beings to sow mass pandemonium.

We do not battle against flesh and blood, folks! We ought to fight with LOVE! With PRAYER!

WHO ARE YOU TO CRITICIZE A RECOGNIZED MAN OF GOD?!

And either way, again, we are not to fight against each other. We are here to restore each other, to help each other up. NEVER to tear each other down.

I'm just correcting those who are sowing more discord by criticizing this man of God.

A pastor I revere once mentioned, "God honors a stupid pastor even more than a rebellious intercessor."

Better heed now, as opposed to heeding when you are toasting in the fires of hell.

Comfort From My Mom

2008-10-16T18:38:00.000+08:00

Thanks, Nay, I certainly needed this.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;

it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,

he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey

stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.

You have two choices...smile and close this page,

or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson ....... I did!!

GOD BLESS YOU....!

23 Minutes in Hell

2008-10-14T17:52:00.000+08:00

Bill Wiese was allowed by Jesus to experience Hell. I doan wanna go thar. Period.

OMG. Stocks Fall. Massive Pandemonium in Markets Across the World. Calling for Bailout Plan. OMG. Prophecies Coming TRUE!

2008-10-10T02:05:00.000+08:00

Eep. I'm sitting on bleeding-edge news every time I close any of my 4 main emails. So forgive me if I'm floodin' yer inbox.

The Link That Started It All.

Do I hear a Dirge in the background, and a solemn call for prayer across all the stock market trading centers across the world? Let's hope they call JESUS and not the Martians this time.

Boy am I happy I don't have anything in the bank. Hahahahahhahhahaha! (for the first time)

(Sheesh. :p)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081009/ap_on_bi_st_ma_re/wall_street

While the rest of the world groans in agony.......

What is this? Like a ray of sunlight splashing through BLACK skies?!

Galoc starts producing oil

By Abigail L. Ho, TJ Burgonio
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 02:29:00 10/10/2008

MANILA, Philippines—After numerous delays, the Galoc oil field off northwest Palawan has finally produced oil, boosting the country’s hope to become 60-percent energy self-sufficient by 2010.

First discovered in 1981 and appraised in 1988, the Galoc field was left undeveloped due to the risks associated with its development and the then low price of oil.

Delays in the delivery of the first oil mean that its operators have missed this year’s oil price rally. Global crude oil prices are now around $89 a barrel, well off highs near $150 a barrel in mid-July.

In a joint statement, Energy Secretary Angelo Reyes and Jeff Davison, chief operating officer of service contract operator Galoc Production Co. (GPC), said the first well opened at 10:45 a.m., with first oil on board the vessel by 11:20 a.m.

GPC had repeatedly missed its first oil targets this year due mainly to bad weather.

Based on the consortium’s timetable, flow testing would be conducted over the coming weeks to stabilize production. Upon stabilization, production is expected to reach 20,000 barrels a day from the two wells.

6 percent of oil demand

For the remainder of 2008, production should average around 17,000 barrels a day.

“We are expecting to get 20,000 barrels a day in the first 90 days of commercial production. That will provide for 6 percent of the daily oil demand of the country,” Reyes said.

Independent appraiser Gaffney, Cline and Associates had estimated the production rate at the Galoc field to reach 23,000 barrels a day, on average, for the first year of production.

The Galoc field, 65 km northwest of Palawan, holds oil reserves estimated at 10 million barrels.

The new crude will raise the Philippines’ domestic oil output by some 70 percent to 42,500 bpd, a welcome addition to the country, which imports nearly all of its requirements.

But Galoc’s crude, also called Palawan Light, could find it hard attracting customers as it has a higher sulphur content than most Asia-Pacific grades, at 1.64 percent.

It is also coming on stream at a time of weakening oil demand in Asia, even as Vietnam has started selling first cargoes of its new light sweet Song Doc crude.

Reduction in imported oil

In June, Reyes said Galoc’s output would be aimed at local refineries.

Malacañang officials hailed the extraction of oil from the Galoc field saying this would reduce the country’s dependence on imported oil and save the country millions of dollars.

“The President is optimistic that this new development will positively impact on the administration’s efforts to reduce the country’s annual oil importation of $6 billion, and in turn will also contain the increasing cost of food and other commodities,” Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita said, reading from a statement.

This, he added, would translate into $1.4 billion foreign exchange savings for the Galoc oil well’s lifetime of three to five years.

The country imported some $8.8 billion worth of oil last year, up from $8 billion the previous year. The total imports reached 120.1 million barrels in 2007.

GPC owns 58.29 percent of the Galoc contract area covered by Service Contract 14C, while Australian firms Nido Petroleum Ltd. and Otto Energy Ltd. hold 22.28 percent and 18.28 percent, respectively.

Other shareholders include local companies The Philodrill Corp. (7.03 percent), Oriental Petroleum and Minerals (4.96 percent), Linapacan Oil, Gas and Power (2.61 percent), Forum Energy (2.27 percent), Alcorn Gold Resources (1.53 percent), and PetroEnergy Resources (1.03 percent).

Vitol and European trader Trafigura will be the two main marketers of Palawan Light.

The Philippines also wants to drill oil from its Malampaya gas field off the Palawan coast and expects to start producing oil from its largest hydrocarbon discovery in less than two years. With a report from Reuters

Start Prayin' like you never had before!

Whom Do I Work For?

2008-10-09T16:32:00.001+08:00

I actually wanted to write this instead of the other one I posted.

I was saying in my previous post that "then, I would be working for God when that time comes" (when the end of days is nigh)..

But then I re-realized that everything I do today would be building upon what I would need to do tomorrow.

Remembering my previous post on my Lifehacks blog, I better take my own advice, and work the hardest I can, in order to do this:

Revelation 22:12

Between the street of the city and the river there was a tree of life visible from both sides. It produced 12 kinds of fruit. Each month had its own fruit. The leaves of the tree will heal the nations.

I believe that WE are the leaves of this tree. Jesus is that tree, and we are His leaves. He is the Vine and we are the branches of that vine... We are to be sent out into the world to heal the nations. America to the Philippines, Philippines to America, Philippines to China, China to Europe, and wherever and whomever else God will use to heal these nations that have agreed to disagree with HIM.

So yeah, this gives me the inspiration to work hard, whatever is in my hands. Because my purpose is to create wealth that would enable me to go out into the world and do what I need to do, without partnering with anyone for ministry. I would rather be the one to partner with you in the future.

But even if my desires would be diametrically opposite to what God wants, and His reality would be that He would make me dependent on Him to the full, then so be it. Either way, this is no time to sleep!

Awake, sleepers! Awake!

Biblical Inspiration for This:

1 Timothy 4:10
Certainly, we work hard and struggle to live a godly life, because we place our confidence in the living God. He is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.

1 Timothy 6:17-19
Tell those who have the riches of this world not to be arrogant and not to place their confidence in anything as uncertain as riches. Instead, they should place their confidence in God who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. Tell them to do good, to do a lot of good things, to be generous, and to share. By doing this they store up a treasure for themselves which is a good foundation for the future. In this way they take hold of what life really is.

Whom Do I Work For?

2008-10-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

An Exhortation To The Bride

2008-10-09T16:00:00.000+08:00

It's funny how world events have unfolded before my very eyes. Israel has sealed the pact with the devil by giving in to Hollywood-style soft core porn for its tourism industry, Iceland declared bankruptcy, California is in need of monetary "backups" for its budget (being Federal means that their funding is within the state, and not centralized, like here in the Philippines), the earth is getting depleted of oil the way an emergency case is hemorrhaging from a puncture wound, we are seeing the plummeting of the world's economies, and we still don't get it.

Artists create concerts like Save the Earth, asking for help... From whom?! From the Martians?! From other people?! OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T SAVE YOU! Oil can't save you! MONEY can't save you!!!

And neither does conserving the owls. Or the crocodiles.

Only JESUS can create new OWLS. Only Jesus can bring back the crocodiles and let them be restricted to areas where they won't eat people.

Why can't we get it?! The very PERSON we spurn, JESUS, is the ONLY person who can save us!!!

Oh yeah, so while the world parties on to the one world economy, and people forget to be wary of the RFID chips and the one-world citizenship, I pray that we Philippine Christians will rise up for JESUS and take hold of our destiny as MISSIONARIES WHO WILL GO OUT INTO THE REST OF THE WORLD AND WIN IT FOR JESUS, WITH JESUS, AND BY JESUS!

And if, in the event that we have gone out there and we get missing-in-action, martyred, or, be happy about it, RAPTURED, it's a glorious thing, because GOD will welcome us with a martyr's honor when we reach Heaven.

Gird your swords and shields, kids, now is the time to walk this world with an aching awareness. Awake, sleepers, for your Bridegroom is at the door. Tremble with fear of Him and how He moves, because He comes in His full glory, and it to the world, the BRIDE's walk will be a path of thorns. But to us, the Bride, we will be walking on flowers.

Remember Stephen as he beheld Jesus' glory and took the stones. Remember Peter as he got crucified upside down. To those who have dreams of following God and marching after Him, only JESUS can give you the anesthetic you need.

You won't feel the pain, though it would look painful to most, because Jesus holds you throughout what you will go through. It will be a season of joy, as we battle for our destiny's worth.

Fight with honor worthy of the GOD who called you. These are the days where Biblical truths will be retranslated into our context. These are the days when the apostles will be martyred as Paul, Stephen, Peter, and the rest of them were martyred and persecuted.

Rejoice, because the end-of-days battles are beginning. The Bride is stirring, and the Bridegroom is eager to fight for her as He awaits receiving her.

ANOTHER BREAKING NEWS: CALIFORNIA IS IN A BUDGET DEFICIT!!!

2008-10-09T15:37:00.000+08:00

Ehem. Gird ourselves with the Word of God?!

States That Can't Pay for Themselves

by Prashant Gopal
Wednesday, October 8, 2008provided by

The Golden State, which recently scrambled to fill a $15 billion budget gap, still may not be able to meet its payroll without help.

California is going to Washington, D.C., to ask for $7 billion to cover its budget shortfall. Otherwise it won't be able to pay for its teachers, cops, firemen, and other essential services. Unfortunately, California won't be alone. A number of other states are experiencing a huge dive in tax revenue and could be going cap in hand to Uncle Sam alarmingly soon. How bad could it get? The potential cost for all the 31 states facing both major and minor shortfalls could be as much as $53.4 billion.

The data is based on a study by the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities released at the end of September and shows the states that have seen the biggest shortfalls in tax revenue in their fiscal 2009 budgets.

California
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 22%
Gap: $22.2 billion

Wikipedia: Public Domain

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger warned this week that the state might need to borrow $7 billion from the federal government, if credit markets don't ease, to pay for salaries and other operating costs. The state, which has been battered by falling home prices and foreclosures, enacted a budget that imposed cuts to the state's health insurance program for the poor and other social service programs.

Arizona
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 19.9%
Gap: $2 billion

Arizona was hit hard by the subprime crisis, and its economy has slowed significantly since mid-2006. Lawmakers, who had to make up a $2 billion budget shortfall for fiscal 2009, reduced the Medicaid rolls, put a freeze on hiring, and cut funding for community health centers and state universities.

Florida
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 19.9%
Gap: $5.1 billion

The Florida housing slump is one of the worst in the nation and only appears to be getting worse. The $66 billion Florida budget for the coming year is about $6 billion less than the one approved the previous year. It includes a $332 million reduction in public school spending and cuts to state hospitals, nursing homes, and various social programs.

Wikipedia: Public Domain

Nevada
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 16%
Gap: $1.2 billion

Nevada has the worst foreclosure rate in the nation, and its economy has slowed dramatically this year. The governor capped the state's children's health program and increased children's health-care premiums, and cut funding for K-12 education, higher education, and welfare.

Rhode Island
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 13.1%
Gap: $430 million

Rhode Island's economy has been weakened by its housing market, one of the worst in the nation. Lawmakers are trying to make up for a $430 million shortfall in their budget with proposed cuts to the public college system and aid for municipalities, as well as tighter limits on welfare benefits.

New York
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 9.8%
Gap: $5.5 billion

New York, which had a $4.9 billion budget gap, faced an additional $630 million shortfall after the budget was enacted. The state made cuts to the health insurance program for low-income families, froze hiring, and enacted tax and fee increases.

Anivron: Wikipedia

Alabama
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget):
9.5%
Gap: $784 million

Alabama closed some corporate tax loopholes, and made cuts to colleges and universities.

Georgia
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 8.7%
Gap: $1.8 billion

The state's economy has been impacted by a slowing housing market. The governor has asked state agencies to cut 4% to make up an expected shortfall in the $21 billion budget for the coming fiscal year.

New Jersey
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 7.7%
Gap: $2.5 billion

The state's economic slump is due to the weak housing market and rising inflation. The state legislature passed a $32.8 billion budget that is $600 million less than last year's budget. New Jersey plans to trim the budget by offering early-retirement incentives for state employees and through attrition.

BobDrzyzgula: Wikipedia

Maryland
Budget gap (as a % of the total budget): 7.2%
Gap: $1.1 billion

Maryland enacted a $1.35 billion tax increase in late 2007, which (along with $277 million in budget cuts passed by the General Assembly) is designed to help address the state's deficit. However, a continuing economic weakness has led to an additional $270 million gap, which is likely to be addressed by further spending cuts.

See a slide show of the states with the biggest budget shortfalls.

Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities

Editor's note: The budget gaps include the shortfalls before the budget was adopted, along with any additional midyear gaps.

ICELAND DECLARES ITSELF BANKRUPT. Earth's Days Are Numbered, Baby!

2008-10-09T02:32:00.000+08:00

Mehn. We just don't get it, do we? All I can say is, we're headed for Apocalypse, baby! So what's a kid like you and me to do? Pray, seek God, be fruitful, love, go on living. It'll be like in the days of Noah, the Bible says: They were drinking, marrying, laughing.

I wish the culmination of history were a more painless journey for humanity. Alas, it's all about HIM and not about us.

Mehn, gird your sword and get ready to fight! The Final War is about to start!!!

(Why on earth am I so excited about this?! Maybe because it only means that I don't need to work for money anymore. It would mean that I would be working for God then. Nyehehe! Woohoohooey! Bring it on, baby! Let the last battles of the Big War begin!)

Iceland teeters on the brink of bankruptcy

By JANE WARDELL, AP Business Writer Tue Oct 7, 3:40 PM ET

REYKJAVIK, Iceland - This volcanic island near the Arctic Circle is on the brink of becoming the first "national bankruptcy" of the global financial meltdown.
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Home to just 320,000 people on a territory the size of Kentucky, Iceland has formidable international reach because of an outsized banking sector that set out with Viking confidence to conquer swaths of the British economy — from fashion retailers to top soccer teams.

The strategy gave Icelanders one of the world's highest per capita incomes. But now they are watching helplessly as their economy implodes — their currency losing almost half its value, and their heavily exposed banks collapsing under the weight of debts incurred by lending in the boom times.

"Everything is closed. We couldn't sell our stock or take money from the bank," said Johann Sigurdsson as he left a branch of Landsbanki in downtown Reykjavik.

The government had earlier announced it had nationalized the bank under emergency laws enacted to deal with the crisis.

"We have been forced to take decisive action to save the country," Prime Minister Geir H. Haarde said of those sweeping new powers that allow the government to take over companies, limit the authority of boards, and call shareholder meetings.

A full-blown collapse of Iceland's financial system would send shock waves across Europe, given the heavy investment by Icelandic banks and companies across the continent.

One of Iceland's biggest companies, retailing investment group Baugur, owns or has stakes in dozens of major European retailers — including enough to make it the largest private company in Britain, where it owns a handful of stores such as the famous toy store Hamley's.

Kaupthing, Iceland's largest bank and one of those whose share trading was suspended last week to stop a huge sell-off, has also invested in European retail groups.

Thousands of Britons have accounts with Icesave, the online arm of Landsbanki that regulators said was likely to file for bankruptcy after it stopped permitting customers to withdraw money from their accounts Tuesday.

To try to wrest control of the spiraling situation, the government also loaned $680 million to Kaupthing to tide it over and said it was negotiating a $5.4 billion loan from Russia to shore up the nation's finances.

The speed of Iceland's downfall in the week since it announced it was nationalizing Glitnir bank, the country's third largest, caught many by surprise despite warnings that it was the "canary in the coal mine" of the global credit squeeze.

Famous for its cod fishing industry, geysers, moonscape and the Blue Lagoon, Iceland was the site of the Cold War showdown in which Bobby Fischer of the United States defeated Boris Spassky of the Soviet Union in 1972 for the world chess championship. Last year, Iceland won the U.N.'s "best country to live in" poll, with its residents deemed the most contented in the world.

No more.

Despite sunny skies Tuesday after three days of unseasonably cold weather, Reykjavik's mood remained grim — cafes were half-empty, real estate agents sat idle, and retailers reported few sales.

"I'm really starting to get worried now. Everything is bad news. I don't know what's happening," said retiree Helga Jonsdottir as she headed to a supermarket.

Icelanders are also beginning to question how a relative few were able to generate the disproportionate wealth — and associated debt — that Haarde has warned puts the entire country at risk of bankruptcy.

Iceland's reinvention from the poor cousin in Europe to one of the region's wealthiest countries dates to the deregulation of the banking industry and the creation of the domestic stock market in the mid-1990s.

Those free market reforms turned Iceland from a conservative, inward-looking country to one of a new generation of internationally educated young businessmen and women who were determined to give Iceland a modern profile far beyond its fishing base.

Entrepreneurs become its greatest export, as banks and companies marched across Europe and their acquisition wallets were filled by a stock market boom and a well-funded pension system. Among the purchases were the iconic Hamley's toy store and the West Ham soccer team.

Back home, the average family's wealth soared 45 percent in half a decade and gross domestic product rose at around 5 percent a year.

But the whole system was built on a shaky foundation of foreign debt.

The country's top four banks now hold foreign liabilities in excess of $100 billion, debts that dwarf Iceland's gross domestic product of $14 billion.

Those external liabilities mean the private sector has had great difficulty financing its debts, such as the more than $5.25 billion racked up by Kaupthing in five years to help fund British deals.

Iceland is unique "because the sheer size of its financial sector puts it in a vulnerable situation, and its currency has always been seen as a high risk and high yield," said Venla Sipila, a senior economist at Global Insight in London.

The krona is suffering in part from a withdrawal by a falloff in what are called carry trades — where investors borrow cheaply in a country with low rates, such as Japan, and invest in a country where returns, and often risks, are higher.

After watching the free-fall for several days, the Central Bank of Iceland stepped in Tuesday to fix the exchange rate of the currency at 175 — a level equal to 131 krona against the euro.

Haarde said he believed the measures had renewed confidence in the system. He also was critical of the lack of an Europe-wide response to the crisis, saying Iceland had been forced to adopt an "every-country-for-itself" mentality.

He acknowledged that Iceland's financial reputation was likely to suffer from both the crisis and the response despite strong fundamentals such as the fishing industry and clean and renewable energy resources.

As regular Icelanders begin to blame the government and market regulators, Haarde said the banks had been "victims of external circumstances."

Richard Portes of the London Business School agreed, noting the banks were well-capitalized and had not bought any of the toxic debt that has brought down banks elsewhere.

"I believe it is absolutely wrong to say these banks were reckless," said. "Quite the contrary. They were hugely unlucky."

Fish Out of Water

2008-10-05T23:24:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I've seriously blogged on here, and it was refreshing to be a little detached from the self-absorption..

While I was reading Direk Dante's blog, I tried to empathize with his latest story about meeting a certain supernova-of-the-moment girl in a certain TV station..

While he was talking about that, I can't help seeing a parallel screen in my brain pertaining to my upcoming meeting with a client.

I couldn't help feeling like a fish out of water again...

While most people feel so at home in society, mixing with different kinds and breeds of people... Like a hand slipping in snugly into a glove, they seem so at home.

I then realize that I'm only at home with those I feel a certain degree of kinship towards. I'm only at home with those whom I perceive I have a certain level of equality with... The lines between CEO and Lorie blur only when I realize I have something to give; the lines between business owner and Lorie blur when I realize that that business owner was a batchmate and a friend.

Yes, I'm having a muted version of an anxiety attack.

I sure as grass don't know what to do when I face the CEO of the company looking to hire me for their written works tomorrow at 4PM. I sure as grass am wondering what I should prepare. I sure as grass am wondering what I'm wearing to go there...

Lorie doesn't talk in terms of success or money. Lorie's language consists of flowers and sunsets, sunrises and clouds that paint pictures of things that God wants to tell her.

Lorie's language consists of chocolate and hugs, kisses and hours staring into someone's soul...

Lorie doesn't care for cars or big houses. All she wants is a spacious place to play in and be safe. All she wants is the means to get from Point A to Point B. Bus rides are fun, as long as people don't keep violating her shoulder.

Lorie doesn't care for how much a computer is priced and how important it would make her look. At least, not anymore. All she knows is that the machine gives her joy, because it's excellently created, and it's totally suited to what she desires.

Badges, worldly honor, fame... In a tumultuous time and a dying economy, those don't seem to matter anymore.

If you knew that your city would be bombed tomorrow, would you still care that you got that report done?

If you knew that a plane would crash into your office today, would you still pack that briefcase to go to work?

So what matters, then? Seizing the day, loving both those who deserve your love and those who don't. I just don't get the hang of loving those who don't deserve my love yet.. Hey, I'm a work in progress, and so are you. :p

In all, I feel like life is like a blur of events. You're only as good as the role you play, then you exit the curtain and give room for your understudy to go on in place of you.

I have a myriad of dreams, a ton of books to read, a multitude of people to love... I wonder how I could get them all done within my lifetime. I wonder whether the train would leave even before I managed to get my ticket...

The bottom line is, I decide to cease planning. It's about time to LIVE. To savor each moment and get the most of what I should get from it. To live life cherishing each second that passes me by.

To no longer hold out on all the enjoyment I could ever feel and reserve it for that one moment that would never come...

Today I choose to be mindful, to savor, to BE. Today, I choose to love, I choose Christ.

Tomorrow, Another Chance At The Quest for The Philippines' First Oscar Begins

2008-10-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

Fresh from a night out with high school classmates, face still unwashed from the amazing rollercoaster ride I had on my way home, I got this in one of my primary email addresses:

To those who support Panoramanila Pictures' and the rest of the Philippines' desire for acclaim in the realm of film, please do say a prayer.

It may not be as earthshaking as, say, the presidential elections, but it's still important to our national/collective esteem, pride in our people, and a (healthy) pride in our heritage, as well.

Mabuhay ang pelikulang pinoy!

For God and country!

Prayer for California (Request from Lou Engle)

2008-10-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

Just came in through email:

Urgent Summons to California - A Message from Lou Engle:

Dear Friends of TheCall,

Once again, as you know, we are in a moment of extraordinary crisis in America. These elections will shape the future of our nation for the next 40 years. The future of millions of unborn children and wounded mothers is at stake. The judges that will be appointed by the next president will help determine whether or not America will fully turn away from the fixed moral standards of God's loving laws.

If that were not enough, California has now legalized same-sex marriage and the implications of this ruling are so far-reaching that it demands an immediate and urgent response from the church. I am emailing our entire email list this most profound video describing a true incident that has taken place in Massachusetts, the only other state that has legalized same-sex marriage. When you watch it, you will understand that we are in a spiritual battle that calls for desperate fasting and prayer.

On November 1, we are summoning the church from across California and the nation to gather together in united fasting and prayer at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego to take a stand for marriage in California.

As California goes, in many ways, so goes the nation. A major prayer leader from Egypt spoke to me and said that he had been weeping over California because he knew that if this law is not reversed by the vote of Californians on November 4, a spirit will spread across the world that will be stronger than Islam. It is a spirit of lawlessness, and that spirit will affect every nation. He said, "Lou, please call the whole world to pray for California on November 1 through God TV."

Mybrothers and sisters, many of my friends are saying that TheCall California will be the most significant Call we have ever done. It is not just about California it is about the whole nation.

I am appealing to you who have stood by TheCall these years to drop everything to come to Qualcomm Stadium and join this mighty prayer battle that is going on. Nehemiah, in a time of spiritual warfare said, "We are widely divided along this wall, when you hear the sound of the trumpet, gather to me there, and there the Lord will fight for us." There are certain spiritual powers of darkness that will not be restrained unless we are willing to gather. God promises if we will do that, He will fight for us. "This kind does not come out but by prayer and fasting."

Please do not skip over this email lightly right now. Please, watch the video now and be stirred to take a stand.

Consumed by TheCall,

Lou Engle

Click here to watch this important video >>

Heavy Metal Singer Cancels Contract With Satan After Jesus Called Him

2008-09-15T17:50:00.000+08:00

God Voids Kirk's Contract With the Devil

By Richard Santoro
The 700 Club

CBN.com – “The greatest thing was being on stage and having control, the awe of being worshipped, having folks say, ‘Wow, I want to be that,’” Kirk Martin said.

As leader of a heavy metal band, Kirk projected an angry, wild image on stage.

“And getting thousands of people to scream profanities, that was the biggest rush for me,” Kirk said.

Off stage, people just found him mean.

“I was so filled with hate that I would project that hate at a lot of people. Two band members, when we were on the road, just decided they were just sick of me and they couldn’t take me any more and they actually decided to leave the band,” Kirk said.

But the message in Kirk’s music captured the minds of his young audience.

“My whole intention was to tell people to believe in yourself. Follow your own visions, your own dreams and crush whoever’s in the way,” Kirk said.

Kirk had no illusions about where his growing success came from.

“I got on the ground and clawed the earth. I told Satan, ‘If you give me what I want, if you make me a God; if you give me the women and the drugs and fame and if you give me the power to crush people, I will serve you until the end of time,’” Kirk said. “Within two days I was offered a recording contract.”

While Kirk pushed for fame and fortune, he tried to keep a secret bottled up inside.

“A couple of older boys in the neighborhood started molesting me and sodomizing me when I was probably about eight,” Kirk said. “It happened more than once. I never told talked about it. I never told anybody about it.”

Later, taking advantage of women sexually became part of Kirk’s heavy metal lifestyle.

“The worst part about my molestation was the fact that I, in turn, went out and violated others,” Kirk said.

Then, just as he was about to sign the record deal for which he’d sold his soul, he had an encounter with a mysterious stranger.

“One morning about 9:00 a.m., I went into a small café and this guy came in and sat down right across from me, out of all the places he could have sat. There were plenty of seats open. And immediately I looked at him with this horrible, mean-looking look on my face and I said, ‘What’s happening, Dad?’” Kirk said.

“He looked me in the face and said, ‘What’s happening, Dad?’ I jumped up and put my nose right up to his, stared him in the eye and cursed him. I called him every foul thing I could think of and he said, ‘God sent me here to tell you that He loves you. And God wants you to know that he was not responsible for the young men that molested you when you were a young child,’” Kirk said.

“And the thing that was so mind-blowing was he used their names. He said, ‘Jesus is waiting for you to turn your face toward home,’” Kirk said.

“And I jumped up and chased after him and he turned around a corner and into thin air he disappeared,” Kirk said.

Not long after that, Kirk was sleeping in his band’s tour bus when it shook violently in the middle of the night.

“Suddenly, it was like this big shining spotlight came down from heaven and the Spirit of God Himself came into the bus,” Kirk said. “And I didn’t know why I hated God so much. Everything slipped away and all I felt was love. I felt accepted. I felt like I was that little boy again before I got molested. I said, ‘Jesus, change me or destroy me, because I don’t want to be this any more.’ I realize now in the presence of God, sin and hate and ugliness can’t - there’s no room for it. It has to leave. And all these things began to leave my heart,” Kirk said.

Kirk cried himself to sleep and when he woke up the next morning, everything seemed different.

“The grass was greener, the sky was fluffier, the clouds were beautiful, and I was different’” Kirk said.

Kirk never signed the contract for the heavy metal record deal.

“I had everything in my hand, everything I’d ever wanted just sitting right there and all of a sudden, I didn’t want it any more. And I left everything and never went back,” Kirk said.

Kirk found a church in his hometown and began to grow as a Christian. A Christian counselor also urged him to seek out the young men who had molested him and forgive them.

“I did find them and I said, ‘Why did you do this to me?’ They began to tell me the story of how someone had violated them. One young boy said how he had found a porn magazine and that’s what led him to abuse me, and then invite the other boy to abuse me. They had given their hearts to Christ. We sat down and we cried and hugged and we prayed. That’s how I got past all that,” Kirk said.

Over time he found his musical talent moving in a new direction, writing and performing worship songs. He and his family travel around the country sharing the miracle that changed Kirk’s life.

“My wife is just a treasure. My family is the greatest testimony of God’s mercy and grace, because I thought I would never have such a wonderful blessing. Once I realized God wasn’t out to get me, I started to see the blessings,” Kirk said.

“I was addicted to drugs and sex and violence and hatred and used music as a tool to destroy people. And then God turned all that around for His glory,” Kirk said.

Quick Update: Happy Is Me :D

2008-09-15T16:20:00.000+08:00

Blogging is an addiction for me, so I'll get off of blogging about myself for a while..

So while I detach from the self-absorption, I'd just like to give y'allz an update.

I feel like the dawn is breaking through. And just in time.

It amazes me that God told me this May that I'd be in the clear (major breakthrough) in October..

It's mid-September, and the dawn is breaking through in my life.

I praise God that He is just so sovereign. :) He knows when we sit and when we rise.. He knows our inmost beings.. And He gives us attention when we need it the most. :)

I just bless His name because He is so great and overwhelming. This is sooooo not about me. My story is not about me. It's all about HIM and how He formed me. He formed this tapestry of me in order that He be glorified in me..

He is sooooooooo wonderful wonderful, and He is mine!

It just floors me that I have limitless attention from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Happy. Just so happy.

Did I tell you that I used to hate the word "Happy?"

I hated it coz I thought it was superficial. I would use the word Joy. :)

I think I can safely say, that I am both joyous and happy. Not for anything else but because I've come to the full realization that...

JESUS LOVES ME.

No matter what. :)

As my current anthem says:

"I may stumble, I may fall down, but I WILL NOT BE MOVED. I may make mistakes, I will face heartache, but I will not be moved...

On Christ the solid rock I stand, ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND..

I WILL NOT BE MOVED!!!"

Woohoo!

The gates of Hades will not prevail against the Bride of Jesus (humans who have accepted Christ's offer of friendship), because HE IS HER DEFENDER!!!

WE WILL NOT BE MOVED!!!

Oh. So. Happy.

P.S.

If you don't think you can relate and you feel left out, and you feel that He is not for you, I pray that someday you'll find out that He invites everyone to a rich feast with Him: a life that is beautiful inside and out. Indeed, my life was not easy, nor does it get any easier by the day, but it's fun to know that He is for me and not against me.

It was a fight to get here, but I feel like I'm conquering my Mt. Everest today. I feel like all other mountains to climb from here on would be easier to climb because my Lord is the One who leads. :)

Sigh. :)

BREAKTHROUGHS ARE AMAZING!!!

Update: What's Up With Me?

2008-09-09T19:07:00.000+08:00

Hi. If you're wondering how I am, and you're stalking my blog because you've read it before and you like the way I blabber, well, here's what's going on with me.

1) I got let go from the Internet Marketing company I worked for because I had moved houses and locations and I got Internet Connection only well into the week.

2) That same Internet Marketing company I worked for re-hired me on Friday. With a massive raise. Whoa.

3) I did not go on to the Worship Team, because my leader felt that I should work on my heart issues more closely: letting go of the hatred I had for those who had hurt me, healing from the consequences of the lethal sins I had committed.

I submitted myself to my leader's decision.

4) I am on a fast from my fiance because I had missed God severely and I hate that 8 hours of my life is consumed by work.

5) I realized that I had been using things, animals, tasks, events, things of God, and people/relationships, to fill the void that only God can fill.

6) I realize that I have a deep-seated hatred for those who do not understand me and the things I care about.

7) I realize that I have to get over #6 by learning to love these people, no matter what.

8) I tried to train a cat last night. I failed. It had harmed my focus. Now I'm scared to time in for fear that my boss may get mad at me. Heheh. :p

9) I think I'm throwing the biggest tantrum of my life right now. And I didn't even have coffee. We-ell. I did have coke. But why was tantrum going on since yesterday?! Something's going on in my heart, apparently.

10) I wish the world would understand how much it needs God. I wish individuals would understand how much God should be consulted when they make life-changing decisions like marriage. Some of the biggest carnage on earth could be avoided when parents understand that their children belong to the Lord and He will use them however He will, even if they do not understand what they had gone through, are going through, and will go through.

I wish I am not throwing this major tantrum against God right now. But as it is, I'll just be duking it out with Him.

It's like Jacob when God broke his hip. Today, He's just breaking my will.

Just as I had tried to break my cat's willfulness.

I hate that I love Him but I could not understand His ways. :p

I wish that this walk were more comfortable, but then God is not after our own comfort. He is always after our character.

So whatever.

Whatever some people expected of me, it won't happen. I won't be someone famous in this life. Maybe I'll never be rich. Maybe some of my dreams would never come true.

But all I know is, God formed me. God called me from this inane system of thinking we call "life". God loves me, and He spoils me, in ways most people don't understand or know how.

If there's only one thing I can take away from this illusion we call life, it would be that God loves me and He would keep loving me throughout eternity. :p

And for that...

I am thankful.

ISRAEL IS USING PLAYBOY'S TACTICS?! No wonder we're up for destruction!

2008-09-08T19:38:00.000+08:00

Three realizations:

1) This advert featured on this newsbit is no different from how the old shrine prostitutes were used in the old sex-and-worship religions in Egypt, Canaan, and adopted by Israel.

2) I now have an inkling of why God was often exasperated with Israel.

3) I believe this is the old pact with the devil in Revelation. The beast that once was blah blah. It's a spirit. A spirit who rebels from God and has no other intention than to kill the desire for God through fornication and the irony of it: idolatrous religion.

WHY DOES ISRAEL KEEP AGREEING WITH IT?!

Does Israel think that it's going to be able to change its image and keep things afloat if it sexes up the place? Why not offer the place as a pilgrimage travel destination, especially as the Christians get richer as they obey God?!

No wonder this world is going to hell.

Dammit. Why can't we all just obey. And stay away from hot women with beautiful bodies, the fornication with which only leads to hell.

DAMMIT!

Repost from MorningStar Ministries: On Revival and Divorce

2008-08-19T10:32:00.000+08:00

The History and Future of the Present Revival - Part 8 View Part 1

We knew that our gathering on 8/8/08 would be significant, and we were not disappointed. Eight is the number of new beginnings, and we had many prophetic indications that this day was going to release a new beginning for us. It did.

The night before this gathering in our Breakout Meeting, there was an unusual and high level anointing. We later realized that 8/8/08 had already begun in the Lord because He starts His days on the evening before. Through the summer we have had extraordinary meetings, with exceptional healings, miracles, signs, and wonders. Even so, much of what has been happening at MorningStar has come through our youth and students, and we have been greatly looking forward to them returning in September from summer vacation. But on Thursday night, August 7, it was electric, and it felt like one of the meetings filled with the youth and kids even though many were not there. There was a renewing, and everyone was seemingly feeling and acting younger. This too is a sign. This anointing for renewal is for body, soul, and spirit. We are going to be getting younger rather than older in many ways.

The bride of Christ is called to be without spot, which speaks of her purity. That she will be without wrinkle speaks of her perpetual youthfulness. Because eight is the number of new beginnings, there was a spirit of renewal present here and it is manifesting in us in many ways. Of course, renewal and refreshing come from the presence of the Lord, and the Holy Spirit will quicken our mortal bodies. Not only are people having their visions and hopes renewed, but many have been feeling and even looking much younger after being in our meetings for a time.

These are also the times when we can expect “signs in the heavens and on the earth beneath” as prophesied in Acts 2:19. The thousands who came to our gathering on August 8 witnessed a significant one. Days before, a high pressure system had been sitting over the area, and the temperatures had been as high as 100 degrees. The night before our gathering, a low pressure system moved through, and cleared the air. When we began our 8/8/08 meeting at 5:00 p.m., according to the weather report, it was 88 degrees, and the wind was blowing at 8 mph. Though this is what we prayed for, it is of course far beyond our ability to do something like this. It was a sign from heaven.

August 8 is a special day for my family and our ministry. My daughter Amber’s birth was prophesied by Bob Jones in 1988 to come on August 8 and that she would weigh 8 pounds. Bob prophesied this two years before she was born on August 8, 1990, at about 8:00 a.m. She weighed 8 pounds just like we had been told. The prophecy was that she would be a sign of a new beginning that was coming to the church. That new beginning is here! Amber turned 18 on 8/8/08, which is the age of maturity, and we can expect to see the new breed of ministry that the Lord has been promising to now begin to emerge into their purposes.

It was also in 1988 when Bob Jones was told by the Lord that he had “lost his marbles in the garden,” as a metaphor of how mankind had lost its mind at the Fall in the Garden of Eden. Bob was also told that he would begin finding marbles in his literal garden that he planted each year, and they would each be a prophecy. On the day of Amber’s birth, Bob found marble number 8, and it was amber in color. Amber is the color of the glory of God and represents the coming of His glory to His people. In fact, we need to see His glory to get our sanity back and that is precisely what this new beginning is going to reveal—the glory of God.

When we were given this prophecy, Julie and I were not expecting to have any more children. Many Christians have likewise ceased to expect any more from God, but He has other plans! You may think your time of bearing fruit is over, but it does not matter how old you are because we have been given a new beginning. You have been given a new beginning. This is a new day! We, the church, are not going to be the same from this time forward. A great change has come, and though it may take some longer than others to recognize it, with some resisting it (as is always the case), a new thing has been released, and we will not be the same again.

Greater Signs and Wonders
We have seen more healings, miracles, and supernatural signs in the last sixteen weeks than we have in the last sixteen years—and we have experienced a lot in the past! We continually walk around in awe now, and this is without question a new level for us, but I also think it is just one more step back to what should be normal church life. This “new beginning” is actually a return to the “ancient paths,” the path of life that the church in the first century began to walk on before it was diverted from its course.

Nothing on this earth is as wonderful as knowing the Lord and watching Him do the wonderful things that He does. These are truly the days of miracles and wonders. As awesome as 8/8/08 was, and as our nightly Breakout Meetings are, He keeps on telling us to get ready for more! We still have not seen the birth, but what we have been experiencing are the last spiritual contractions, or birth pangs, before the birth. Again, this is not just about MorningStar or the Lakeland Outpouring, it is far bigger. True revival is coming to America!

This is about the harvest that is the end of the age. We need to have a clear perspective of what is coming so that we can be used in it. Every one of His people on the earth at this time has a significant calling to fulfill. For this reason it has also been our purpose from the beginning of the Breakout to equip the people who come to go home and release healing and miracles into their families, their churches, and their communities.

Todd Bentley’s Ministry on 8/8/08
We were very excited about having Todd Bentley back with us for the gathering on 8/8/08. Todd has stirred up the church like few others in recent times. There are also very few who are neutral about him. Immediately, unprecedented excitement and threats about Todd were coming. The threats encouraged us even more that this was from the Lord, but in these times, they must be taken seriously, and we prepared for a move of God and attacks from the enemy. As most of us have learned, the greater the move of God, the greater the attacks usually are.

We had food vendors, different exhibition tents, and bookstores set up and ready early in the morning, and people started coming just after 9:00 a.m., even though the main service was not scheduled to start until 5:00 p.m. By noon, the crowds were getting large, and everyone seemed to be having a great time in the festival atmosphere and the incredible weather.

When the meeting began, the presence of the Lord was heavy, and as often happens in our meetings, many people’s eyes were opened to start seeing things in the spiritual realm. To see the energy and zeal on the crowd was most encouraging, and though there was plenty of room for everyone to sit, thousands actually stood for the entire five-hour meeting.

I have known Todd for years and have spoken at his conferences just as he has spoken at ours. However, he was as anointed that night as I’ve ever seen him, and he said it was the strongest he had felt for some time. His message was both profound and anointed. The ministry time was powerful, and many people, some of whom we knew, were healed. There were also what the Scripture calls “noteworthy miracles” (see Acts 4:16). When it was over, everyone on our team and everyone I talked to afterward said that the day had exceeded their expectations. God had no doubt smiled on this gathering in a remarkable and prophetic way. The DVD sets from that night will be classics.

Todd Bentley’s Personal Problems
I did not hear that Todd was going through a personal crisis until the day before our meeting with him here. When I saw him Wednesday night, he immediately wanted to share with me about his personal problems—especially about his recent separation from his wife. Todd did not share this in a way to try and justify himself, but he wanted me to know what was going on with him to give me an out if I did not think he should minister the next day. I greatly appreciated this.

I still do not know all of the details of his separation, but I did ask him if there had been any immorality on his part, or if he had affections for someone else that was causing this. He assured me that he had never committed adultery, and that there was no “other woman” that caused his separation. Some of his leaders who I talked to also confirmed that Todd had not been in any immoral relationship, though they were all grieving over Todd’s marital problems.

The problems Todd and his wife have had getting along have been public knowledge for several years. I don’t know enough of the details to blame anyone, but I know Todd quite well, and being married to him has got to be like being hand-cuffed to a hurricane. Todd is so intense he makes Mike Bickle and Bob Weiner seem laid back. I think he is very much like the Apostle Peter. What makes him capable of such extraordinary faith also makes him prone to extraordinary blunders. Todd is an extreme manifestation of an emerging extreme generation. His wife may deserve to sit at the right hand of the Lord in the kingdom, and anyone who has worked with him should be up there close somewhere too.

Like it or not, that is often the nature of those who accomplish some of the greatest spiritual exploits—they also make some of the biggest bloopers. Hearing about these problems did not surprise me at all. Since I have now heard about more details, I’m still not shocked. These are problems, and they need to be fixed, which includes repenting and turning around, but if we want the victories and breakthroughs we all hope and pray for, they usually come through people with the same kind of nature. Right after Jesus gave Peter one of the greatest commendations in Scripture for the receiving the greatest of all revelations, that Jesus is the Christ, and then gave him the keys to the kingdom, He had to give Peter one of the greatest rebukes in Scripture by calling him Satan! (see Matthew 16:18-23)

However, the Lord did not take the keys back from Peter, even after he later denied the Lord, and even later in his life when the youngest apostle, Paul, had to publicly rebuke him (see Galatians 2:11-15). It seems that most of those who are given these keys to unlock the spiritual doors to the kingdom will also be prone to make major blunders. This type of person is simply not going to do anything small—they will have great victories, and when they have defeats, they will be great too.

When I was in Lakeland a few months ago, I was told that Todd had been making a real effort to patch things up and heal their relationship, but in June she had left and refused any contact. Todd has now lost hope that it will be worked out, especially now that she has made it clear that she will not even see him. Todd is obviously frustrated and just wants to resolve this situation that has been so hard for so long.

In marriage, I have learned there are those who admit they have been through times when they wondered if their marriage would make it, and then there are liars. Relationships are hard, and the closer they are, the harder they can be. I tell everyone that I give premarital counseling to that the Lord has ordained their marriage in order to kill both of them! That is true. It is also worth it! The greatest gift He gave to man was marriage and family. However, to have a marriage that is good, both will have to die to themselves. If either one does not make the commitment to lay down their life for their mate and their family, then what was meant to be heaven can be hell.

Family is the foundation of society, and the weaker the family is, the weaker that society will be. The weaker the families are in the church, the weaker the church will be. That is why the family life must be strong of those whom the church accepts as leaders, and there are clear biblical standards for them. If we start compromising the clear biblical standards for morality, integrity, and relationships, we will fall, and we will fail at all that the Lord has called us to. Compromising clear biblical standards can never be on the table—for anyone, regardless of how much power they walk in, how great they can preach, or how they can mobilize people.

We are also living in a society where about half of the people have now been divorced. Many more are refusing to get married because of the problems they have witnessed and the pain they suffered when their parents went through a divorce. The children are always the biggest victims of a divorce, and the meltdown in family is one of the great tragedies and great emergencies of our times. It is therefore understandable that some want to make a big deal out of Todd’s marital problems—it is a big deal.

So, should someone who is divorced be disqualified from ministry or from leadership in the church? How can we disqualify someone from ministry or leadership for something that would disqualify God? In Jeremiah 3, we are told that God gave Israel a certificate of divorce. God is divorced. Nearly half the people in our churches have been divorced. A good many Christians now stay away from the church because they have suffered a divorce, and they feel condemned by the church for it. This is an issue that we need to address for the church, not just Todd.

When God got a divorce, was it His fault? Of course not! He was the most perfect Husband there could ever be, but He had a wayward wife that He finally gave up on. That is what happened, and if you do not believe me, go read it yourself. There is a limit to what even God will put up with and rightly so. There are things that justify divorce. Even so, I think it is because the Lord Himself went through a divorce that He hates divorce so much. Divorce is always a tragedy and usually even more for the children than for the parents.

I am not at all saying this to justify Todd or condemn him. At present, I still do not know enough about his situation to condemn or justify anyone. Unrighteous judges, who are often those who rush to judgment, are also condemned in Scripture. I am writing this to try to keep some from stumbling by jumping to conclusions. We have a brother, a sister, their children, and a ministry that is really hurting right now. I greatly appreciate Todd’s willingness to keep ministering and praying for the healing of those who are afflicted and hurting, but he, his family, and his ministry need much healing right now. One thing that would help them and the body of Christ, possibly more than anything else, is to see some real Christian charity expressed in this situation and some righteous judges stand up, which is the duty of true elders in the church.

It would be one of the great tragedies to the body of Christ in our times to lose a ministry like Todd has. He is called to start much more than the Lakeland Outpouring, and just as the Lord went around destroying the works of the enemy by healing the sick, casting out demons, and demonstrating the power of the kingdom, Todd is doing that. He is taking ground in real power ministry on a level that has not been seen in decades. To lose Todd, and to lose Fresh Fire Ministries, would be a major defeat for the body of Christ. We would survive, and we would still ultimately prevail, but the cost of this defeat would be great.

So what do we do? First, in all things we must keep in mind that “love never fails” (see I Corinthians 13:8). How would the Lord respond to this? How can we see this through His eyes? We already know because He showed us. In II Corinthians 5:14 Paul wrote, “For the love of Christ controls us.” How would we behave if Christ’s love was controlling us? When mankind fell, He did not criticize, gossip about us, or condemn us—He laid down His life for us.

The world will never believe our gospel of redemption and restoration until we learn to redeem and restore. Let’s take a worst case scenario here and say that Todd was guilty of terrible things and is the one at fault in the separation—what should our response be? We are told in Galatians 6:1:

Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted.

So, if anyone has been “caught in any trespass,” those who are “spiritual” must restore them. Those who are truly spiritual approach every situation with that goal—redemption and restoration. This is more than just forgiving them—it is getting them back to the place they were. The next verse says, “Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

Already there is some gloating over this situation. Some are trying to use it to promote themselves. Every situation like this is a test for everyone. Some will pass and some will fail, and the nature of everyone will be exposed. Those who truly walk in the Spirit of Christ will be obvious. The Holy Spirit is the Helper, and those who truly walk by the Spirit will be trying to help, because they love Todd, his wife, the church, and most of all, the Lord who already laid down His life for them.

This is a real opportunity for the church to show some maturity and Christian love. This does not mean compromise, but it does mean addressing this situation in an almost opposite way that we have tended to do in the past. We will all reap what we sow, and if we want to reap grace, we must learn to sow grace every chance we get. If we want to receive mercy, we need to learn to sow mercy every chance we get. Here’s a good chance!

So what does this mean for the Lakeland Outpouring? I will address that in a bit more depth in the next Bulletin, but for now, it can continue and it can get even stronger. A well has been opened there that does not have to be shut again. However, it does depend on a lot of decisions made by the church there. We should be praying for them and asking how we can help them because they were used to release something very important to the worldwide body of Christ. Todd had already decided to turn the Lakeland meetings over to Stephen Strader and to only take a couple of other meetings over the next few months to rest and sort out his life.

What will be happening at MorningStar? I will address that in a bit more depth also, but we received a new commission on 8/8/08, and we are going higher, deeper, and further. We are close to the birth of something we were created for, that we believe will begin this fall, around September 21. We have been given that date like we were 8/8/08 and it is not a coincidence that this date is exactly six months after the Honoring the Father’s Conference we hosted with WhiteDove Ministries. Because of this, we moved our Harvest Conference to begin on September 18, and the Worship & Warfare Conference to begin on September 22, so September 21 will be the Sunday in-between. Come to either or both of these if you can, and you may be a part of history.

For information about these conferences, there is a blurb at the end of this Bulletin. More information is available on our website at www.morningstarministries.org. Because this will be a large outdoor event, we are also making a place for dozens of ministries, churches, Christian artists, publishers, etc., to lease a tent at a nominal charge so they will be able to share about their ministries and resources. We will have midnight bonfires, roaming worship and ministry teams, and other events that will create a festival atmosphere that is conducive to members of the body getting to know one another. Many important bonds between them will begin at this event. This one really could be historic, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were 8,888 that come.

By the way, did you notice that this is Special Bulletin #8? I didn’t plan that, and I just noticed it myself. This is just the year of eight for us. Even our NFL team, The Panthers, finished 8–8 last year. For us that was a perfect season!

Your Grace is Sufficient for me.

Comfort Food

Iloilo City: Home is where the heart is | Death: Number your days to D-Day

Iloilo City: Home is where the heart is | Death: Number your days to D-Day

Scandalous Life: Of Todd Bentley, Deaths and Remarriage

I've been noticing something lately. There is an abnormally high number of young deaths. As well as a good amount of remarriages after divorce. Do you think God is saying something here?

Todd Bentley Begins Restoration Process

By Rick Joyner

How Long?

In the stillness of my night...

There's Hope For Me Yet. Heheh.

Parents Kill Daughter While Teaching Her Manners

Jurors weep at details of 'Baby Grace' torture

Fun Bible Equations

More on Unity of the Bretheren

Bat Shalom: Daughter of Zion - The Testimony of Batya Segal

They Thought For Themselves, Chapter 9

Call to Fast for Israel

On Christian Unity by Rick Joyner

I love You Lord...

We're the E-e-e-e-e-e-EWOKS!

Do not worry about...

"Everybody want Messiach"

New Christian Music Finds! Oooo! Whee!

I Just Knew I Wouldn't Be Able To Stop

Welcome 2009 With Hope - Encouragement from Rick Joyner

The Funniest Book in the Bible is...

Movie to Watch: All Things New

Movie to Watch: All Things New

Freedom from Distractions - Lessons Learned in an MRT Station

Small Beginnings

This Caught My Eye. Makes Sense.

The True Meaning of Christmas from Dave Ramsey

Very Sensible Marriage Advice. Heheh. :p

Remarkable Acapella!

Slow Me Down: Seriously Sabbath Sunday

Burned Out From Work? Here's A Movie to Watch: All Things New

Revisiting Promises for the Philippines: Promises Being Fulfilled

That's What Friends Are For

Insight: On Life And Pimples

My Pisay Journey Part 2: The Cosmic Denouement

My Pisay Journey Part 1: The Rough Road to Healing

I dreamed...

What Amazes Me (Fritzl Case Follow Up 2)

If this ain't OVERCOMING, I dunno what is! (Fritzl Case Follow-Up)

Slow Fade by Casting Crowns

Update: Love Letter to God and A Quotable Quote

Reaction From Gigi Re: The Todd Bentley Fiasco

Todd Bentley: Clarifications

On Todd Bentley

Comfort From My Mom

23 Minutes in Hell

OMG. Stocks Fall. Massive Pandemonium in Markets Across the World. Calling for Bailout Plan. OMG. Prophecies Coming TRUE!

Whom Do I Work For?

Whom Do I Work For?

An Exhortation To The Bride

ANOTHER BREAKING NEWS: CALIFORNIA IS IN A BUDGET DEFICIT!!!

Ehem. Gird ourselves with the Word of God?!

States That Can't Pay for Themselves

ICELAND DECLARES ITSELF BANKRUPT. Earth's Days Are Numbered, Baby!

Fish Out of Water

Tomorrow, Another Chance At The Quest for The Philippines' First Oscar Begins

Prayer for California (Request from Lou Engle)

Heavy Metal Singer Cancels Contract With Satan After Jesus Called Him

God Voids Kirk's Contract With the Devil

By Richard Santoro The 700 Club

Quick Update: Happy Is Me :D

Update: What's Up With Me?

ISRAEL IS USING PLAYBOY'S TACTICS?! No wonder we're up for destruction!

Repost from MorningStar Ministries: On Revival and Divorce

The History and Future of the Present Revival - Part 8 View Part 1

By Richard Santoro
The 700 Club